Page 90 of Undeniable Love
“But…you’ve already been doing that. I don’t know why you both think that I’ve been doing something that you’re not because…that’s just wrong. Yeah, I do pick up the phone, but sometimes it’s because that’s what I need. I need to just talk to my brothers—my family. And if it happens to be at a time when you really needed someone to talk to, then that’s just a coincidence. I never looked at our relationships like I was doing more for you than you were doing for me, so…relax. We’re good.”
Their server came over and placed a bunch of appetizers on the table—antipasto, bruschetta, fried calamari, and mozzarella sticks. After thanking him, they each began serving themselves and for several minutes, the conversation was purely about the food they were eating.
“I think we should have paced ourselves,” Noah murmured halfway through his plate. “And maybe not ordered entrees too.”
“Nonsense. Whatever you don’t eat, we’ll bring home for leftovers. The Osso Buco and the Bolognese aren’t bad reheated, but the spaghetti carbonara is really best eaten fresh. And if you don’t finish it, chances are I will because this place is awesome. This was the first place I took Lucy too when she came here with Ty and…”
Shit.
He’d been having so much fun that he had completely forgotten about that and how he had fed her both of those things.
“And this is why we’re here,” Simon murmured.
“What? Why?”
“That look,” Noah said. “You said her name and you’re whole like…everything got sad.”
“That’s not…”
“Dude, it is, okay? And there’s no harm in admitting it. You care about her and things got complicated.”
Simon frowned. “What the hell kind of description was that?” Then he looked at Jax. “You’re in love with her and you threw yourself on the martyr sword because you got reprimanded. But here’s the thing—and pay close attention because I believe you’ve given us both this talk before.”
Inwardly, he groaned.
“It’s not all or nothing. You can have your career and the girl. Do you not remember when Noah broke up with Lily because things were going to be a little awkward for a little while with her family?”
“Um…her father gave me shit for three years leading up to all that, so…not a little awkward,” Noah corrected.
“So not helpful right now,” Simon chided him before focusing on Jax again. “And weren’t you the one who dragged my sorry ass out of a fleabag motel when I screwed things up with Juliette?”
“It was a very nice chain hotel,” Jax reminded him. “Totally beneath your standards, but…not terrible.”
“Jax…”
“Okay, okay, I get it. Yes. I pointed out how you screwed things up, but not irrevocably, but…this is different.”
“No, it’s not. You did a preemptive strike with Lucy because you somehow convinced yourself that things couldn’t work in the present,” Simon went on. “Even though you both already knew that you’d be spending less time together the closer the playoffs came. We went through all the trouble to make reels and take pictures to boost your social media image and your brain somehow thought that telling Lucy that you had to hit pause was the right thing to do? I thought you were smarter than that.”
Sighing loudly, he took a casual sip of water before responding. “I was caught up in the moment when we were doing all that on Saturday. It seemed like it was going to be the answer to everything and that if we did it, everyone would back off. Instead, I got lectured by everyone but the stadium janitor.” Raking his hand through his hair, he let out another huff. “And on top of that, it made me realize how selfish I was being. Lucy’s family—particularly her parents—gave her grief about our relationship. I thought if we just sort of…you know…slowed things down, it would take some of the heat off of her.”
“Man, that’s bullshit,” Noah said with more than a hint of disgust. “She set things right with her mother and she stood her ground against everyone else. You know what this is? This is about you not knowing what to do when things get hard for you. You. You’re the go-to guy when everyone else is struggling, but you’ve never had to deal with any of it on your own or in your own personal life. Things get hard, Jax. Not everything is wrapped up nicely and the crowd isn’t always cheering you on.”
“Yeah, sometimes life truly sucks,” Simon agreed. “But you have to pick yourself up and do what makes you happy. Hell, that’s what you need to practice because you’ve preached it to us enough times!”
“Okay, but…”
“No, no buts,” Noah stated firmly. “Do you love her?”
All he could do was nod.
“Then stop this nonsense and go and grab some happiness. No one in this world deserves it more than you.”
Of that, he wasn’t so sure.
“The thing is…Lucy deserves the world. Like…everything in the freaking world. She’s had kind of a hard life and has dreams and ambition and there isn’t anything she can’t do. That’s why I don’t want her standing still waiting for whatever crumbs I can give her for the next few months. It’s not fair to her.”
“Did she tell you that?” Simon asked.