Page 56 of Undeniable Love
“But…we live fifteen hundred miles apart. Once you go back to playing in two weeks, your life is going to be fully about football and going to the playoffs and possibly the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, I’m here working at the clinic. If this was just sort of a…you know…another one-time thing, then fine, but we need to be honest about it.”
Carefully, he sat up and she noticed the slight wince when he pushed up using both arms. “Why does it have to be another one-time thing? Why can’t this be…a thing? A real thing. The beginning of something?”
“Jax…”
“I’m serious, Lucy,” he went on. “Is this an ideal situation? No! The logistics suck! But I’ll be coming back here to work on the camp stuff and you can come to Wichita on the weekends, and…”
She held up a hand to stop him. “Okay, first, we both know you’re not going to be needed here to work on camp stuff. You have a team of people who are wading through paperwork and permits right now, so there’s no reason for you to be here. As for the weekends, I can’t just take off like that. I don’t live like you do, Jax. I don’t have the money to just keep flying away whenever I want to.”
“No one’s asking you to pay for anything,” he told her. “I don’t mind paying for your flights.”
It was so hard not to take offense to that because she knew he only had the best intentions, but it still stung a bit.
“It’s not just about the cost; it’s about the time. If I work until five on a Friday, I don’t even know if I’d get a direct flight. By the time I got to you, it would be late and then you’ll have practice or a game and…what would be the point? And it would be kind of icky if I was only going to be there so we could have sex and then I leave. There’s a word for a person who does that and then gets paid for her time and…that’s not me.”
His expression turned fierce. “That’s not what I meant! Jeez, what the hell?”
“But you get what I’m saying, right? Long-distance relationships are hard enough, Jax. You have this amazing career that is going to take up all your time for the next several months! It’s the end of September. If the Warriors go all the way, you won’t realistically get a break until mid-February! I just don’t see this being something…”
Twisting, he reached up and cupped her face with both hands without wincing. “But I do see this as being something,” he said fiercely. “Is it going to be easy? No! I get that. In a perfect world, you’d be going back to Wichita with me and…you know…living with me. But I know your job with the clinic is important to you, and I would never ask you to give that up.”
For a moment, she knew she would totally give it up if he asked.
That’s how much she didn’t want this to end.
She just couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Resting his forehead against hers, he sighed. “I don’t want this to end.” His voice sounded tortured. “I wish I could say that it would be easy, but it won’t. You’re right about the logistics and timing and all of it, but…can’t we just try? Can’t we at least see if there’s a way to make things work instead of treating this like a one-night stand?”
He was killing her. Never in a million years would she have imagined Jax Wylder begging her for a chance to be together, and that’s why she wasn’t willing to let this go either.
“We can try,” she said quietly. “We’ll have to look at calendars and…”
She was on her back with Jax’s body covering hers in the blink of an eye, and the kiss was savage.
And she loved every second of it.
They did have a lot to think about, but…later.
Much, much later.
“There is something to be said for pancakes for dinner,” Lucy said happily. It was after eight and, considering Jax had shown up at her door almost six hours ago, she was really just thrilled to finally be eating.
“Breakfast for dinner is one of my favorites,” he told her. “I’m not much of a cook, but I can do most breakfast foods—omelets, pancakes, waffles, and, of course, cereal.” Then he laughed. “Otherwise, we have a nutritionist for the team who has a shop that does individual meals that you can buy and then just take home and heat. I stock up about once a week just to have stuff in the house.”
She nodded. “I don’t mind cooking, but I can’t make anything gourmet. Honestly, I hate following recipes, so I stick to the basics. And whenever I don’t feel like cooking, I know I can always show up at my parents’ house around dinnertime and they’ll always have extras.”
“Yeah, that was a huge change when I first moved away. I love my mom’s cooking and I missed it so much. One time, I asked her if she could mail a lasagna, but…” He shrugged. “Now, whenever she comes to visit, she spends at least an entire day cooking stuff and stocking up my freezer.” Then he grinned. “So then I had to buy an extra freezer.” And with a wink, he took another bite of his pancakes.
“Jax! That’s terrible! Knowing your mom, she probably feels like she has to fill both of them!”
With a syrupy grin, he nodded. “But she loves doing it! I’m her baby!”
“You’re a grown man who makes enough money to have his own personal chef—and that shouldn’t be your mother!” she chided with a laugh. “But…I get it. When I moved out, my mother would come over once a week with some leftovers. It took me longer than you’d think to realize they weren’t leftovers. She was making me a bunch of stuff so that I would have leftovers and not have to worry about cooking or buying groceries.” The memory made her smile.
“Moms are the best!”
Lucy nodded. “They really are. I hope someday I’ll have kids who think of me that way.”