Page 19 of Indescribable Love
Wait. Did she think he wasn’t being his true self? That he was…
“You don’t think this is who I am?” he asked incredulously. “Seriously?”
“I don’t,” she said firmly. “No one is this happy all the time. It’s not possible. People get in bad moods or have things they don’t like, Simon. It’s completely normal. But you? You are like…you’re almost one-dimensional. You’re just this guy who only has one emotion—happy!”
Leaning back against the sofa, he struggled to fully understand what she was saying. “And you think that’s a bad thing? That…being happy is wrong?”
“No, not wrong, just not normal for it to be the only thing you feel.”
This was possibly the most bizarre conversation he’d ever had. No one had ever complained about his moods or emotions. If anything, he had a great reputation because he was such a nice guy! So why was this an issue for her?
But then it hit him.
Shifting slightly, Simon did his best not to come off sounding too harsh. “Look, I get it, Juliette. Someone like you must look at me and think I’m odd, but really, this is who I am. I overcame a lot in my life, and I just genuinely see the good in everything and appreciate all that I have.”
Her dark eyes narrowed. “What do you mean by someone like me?” she asked slowly.
“You’re jaded,” he told her. “Anyone can see that. You’ve got this hard shell around you, you keep people at a distance, and it seems like you’ve got some pent-up anger and possibly frustration. Living in a big city causes a lot of stress and I don’t even think you’re aware of it anymore.”
“Hey!” she snapped. “That’s a little insulting!”
“So was the way you told me I’m too happy! Like it’s a bad thing!” His voice was a little loud and he immediately softened it. “Just because you look at the world like it’s a competition or that everyone must be out to screw you, doesn’t mean that’s how the rest of us look at it.” He paused and twisted a bit to face her. “It seems like you grew up with a great family, in a loving home, and you have a great relationship with your parents, siblings, and grandparents. Am I wrong?”
“Um…actually…”
“You’ve talked about how much you loved college and shared some funny stories about your friends. Were they lies?”
“No, but…”
“Then why are you so damn stiff and negative? Why are you so determined to have a protective wall around you? What happened to you to make you this way?” As soon as the words were out, he regretted them. He crossed a line, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she walked over and slapped his face. “Juliette, I’m sorry, I…”
“I could ask you the same question,” she said quietly. “I think this Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky thing is a façade. I think it’s a way for you to forget who you were or where you came from. I think that’s why this documentary is messing with you so much, because it’s going to put a crack in the persona you’ve worked so hard to perfect.” She leaned forward almost menacingly. “I’ve known many people who suffered abuse at the hand of a parent, and that doesn’t just go away, Simon. You can pretend that everything’s great all you want, but it doesn’t change the past.”
Then she stood and he felt himself bracing for whatever came next.
“All I’m saying is that maybe this is an opportunity for you to deal with your past. I think people would appreciate seeing a more genuine version of you—one who doesn’t always put a positive spin on things or who maybe gets annoyed at certain situations.”
“Believe me, I’m pretty annoyed right now,” he murmured.
“Good! Finally! This is normal, Simon! Maybe that’s why you’re having trouble writing right now! Maybe you need to actually feel something other than forced cheeriness to find your muse after all this time.” The smile she gave him was full of pity, and he hated it. “Just…think about it, okay?”
And then, like she hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on him, she got up and left the room.
His mind was reeling, and annoyance turned to full-on anger. Jumping to his feet, he had no idea what to do with it. How could he possibly explain to her why everything she just said was wrong? And insulting! And…and…typical of someone who was so robotic and felt nothing!
Storming across the room, he grabbed his phone and was about to call Nikki and tell her to fire Juliette, but he decided not to simply react. He needed to talk this out, but his assistant wasn’t the right person to do that with. His initial instinct was to call his brother Noah, but he and Lily were currently on vacation in Hawaii. There was no way he was going to disturb them. So that left Jax and…as much as he loved his younger brother, the two of them didn’t always see eye to eye, especially on family stuff. There was a good chance calling him would only make him angrier, but…
“Screw it. I’m calling him.” And before he could change his mind, that’s exactly what he did.
“Simon! Hey! This is a surprise!” Jax said when he answered the phone. “What’s up?”
“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” he blurted out. “Am I some sort of freak to everyone because I have a positive outlook on life?”
“Okay, um…wow. I’m going to need a little context here because I feel like there’s something more to this that I’m not getting.”
Walking back over to the sofa, he sat down with a huff and then told him all about Juliette and their latest interaction.
“Dude, fire her!” Jax said when he was done. “Who the hell is she to be unloading that kind of crap on you? She works for you and her job is to make sure these film people don’t talk about the crap that you don’t want to talk about! So she thinks it would be better if you did? Maybe she’s just bad at her job!”