Page 15 of Indescribable Love

The bark of laughter was out before he could stop it. “That’s overly optimistic, don’t you think? I mean, I have some things that were really coming along before…”

“Yeah, before Juliette got here. Sure.”

“So…maybe I just need to work on something different instead of trying to force what I started.” Sighing, he shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever had such a hard time writing before. Normally the words and melodies are just there.”

Bracing himself for some sort of snarky comeback, Simon was surprised when Nikki leaned in and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve got this.” When she straightened, she smiled. “In the meantime, I’ve got a call with our web designer to go over some updates to the site, and I’ll take care of dinner.”

“Nikki…”

“Not me personally,” she said with a laugh. “Relax. What I meant is dinner is under control. We’ll be over around six, is that okay?”

“Absolutely. Thanks.”

As soon as she was gone, Simon picked up his guitar and let out a long breath. This really was the first time that words and music escaped him. Ever since he was a kid, there was always a song in his head, so this felt incredibly unnerving.

Music had been his savior. Growing up, he’d been a really quiet and shy kid who found refuge in music to escape his crappy home life. His parents were always fighting, money was always tight, and it seemed like everyone in town knew they were basically trash. Listening to music had been a way to tune out the rest of the world, but then it morphed into so much more.

Simon realized very early on that he could sing. Getting the solos in elementary school chorus had been the biggest thrill of his young life. Once he hit middle school and then high school, performing not only in the chorus but in musicals allowed him to be someone other than Simon Wylder, the middle child of that Wylder family. He loved being able to disassociate with that label, even if it was only for a little while. Hearing the applause after a performance left him feeling on top of the world.

Then he’d be yanked back down to earth with a crash by his father, who just didn’t get why he was so into music and the arts. The old man had been into sports and played football well into college. It was his dream to go pro, but unfortunately, when Simon’s mother got pregnant, all his father’s big plans got crushed.

And that obviously meant it was his job to crush his sons’ dreams too.

Well, all of them except for Jax’s. Because he took after their father and played football, Jax had been spared a lot of the harsh verbal abuse Simon and Noah were subjected to. He never held it against his brother; after all, he genuinely had talent and they were all proud of him.

But his father? His father was his worst nightmare and still is. For the most part, they had zero contact with each other. Every once in a while he’d come sniffing around, but the people around him—people like Nikki and Mick and pretty much everyone who was part of his management team—knew to keep Greg Wylder away.

It still amazed him that his father would even want to have anything to do with him. Of course the obvious reason was Simon’s fame and the wealth that came with it. Most of the time, he simply went away without a fuss and went on to go and see Jax. It boggled his mind that his brother would want anything to do with their father, but, again, they had a different relationship.

It didn’t take long for him to realize he was spiraling down a dark hole and needed to quickly switch gears.

So, he aggressively began strumming the guitar. It was nonsense and almost painful to his own ears—and fingers—but it blocked out the negative noise in his head for several minutes. His heart was racing and he was starting to sweat, but little by little, he began to calm down. The music became a little softer and more purposeful. His heart rate slowed, and his body temperature began to cool. All around, he was feeling more like himself.

“Okay,” he murmured. “Here we go…”

Closing his eyes, Simon was able to visualize things that gave him joy—the beauty of the mountains around him, a sunny day, his brothers, his mom…

And Juliette.

Wait…what?

He instantly tensed and the almost-angry strumming was back. Growling with frustration, he opened his eyes and tossed the guitar aside. “This is like a vicious cycle.” And as soon as that thought was out, he got to his feet. Feeling annoyed like this was not something he enjoyed, and considering his issues and feelings toward Juliette were what started this whole thing, he had no idea how to break free.

All he knew was that what he was doing wasn’t working.

So instead of sitting here obsessing about it, he grabbed his sneakers and decided that maybe a lunchtime hike was what he needed.

And silently prayed that he was right.

Chapter Four

“Okay, you’re going to take the ricotta, parmesan, mozzarella and provolone cheeses, add the egg and dried parsley, and mix it all together,” Juliette instructed a few days later. The night that Nikki and Celia made lasagna for dinner—with jarred marinara sauce—it had taken everything inside of her not to cringe.

And it was even harder to keep down.

Having grown up in a big Italian family, the one thing she knew better than PR work was food.

Good food.