Page 4 of Symphonic Synergy

“Mostly covers. Like, in all honesty, every single member of that band was utter shit but the drummer. It pisses me off, you know? Every decent band in the region would want her if she were a guy. Women aren’t taken seriously in the music industry.” Piper turned to me, excitement flaring in her eyes. “She was good. Like, John Bonham good. I watched her hands the entire show. She was possessed. That’s the sign of an icon, when the music fuckin’ bleeds through you.”

“You can sing. Maybe you should start a band and ask her to be your drummer.”

“Yeah, right. You think my dad’s gonna be okay with his daughter going to seedy clubs to play music for a bunch of drunks?” She gestured at her clothes, and I smiled at her floral skirt and button-up white blouse. “It’s bad enough I have to go to bars dressed like Country Barbie.”

I turned onto my side. “If you want grungy clothing, come by my house when my dad isn’t there. I’ll fix you up. I know music is what you want, Piper. You shouldn’t give up your dreams to suit what others think is proper.” I glanced away, thinking about how many lives had been ruined because my mother had given up on her dreams. “Besides, your broken dreams could cause another’s nightmare. Put yourself first, Piper. Put your needs first.”

I froze as Piper pushed back a loose strand of my hair. “You gonna follow your own advice, Kaye?”

CHAPTER 2

Kaye

“You gonna avoid the entire tour or what?” Lars asks as he barges into my bus.

I glare at him. “Um, it’s called knocking. What if I was naked?”

Lars rolls his eyes as he grabs a bottle of water from my mini fridge. “You’re acting like I haven’t seen you fucking groupies.” He twists the cap and takes a long sip. “Funny thing is, you’ve fucked more groupies than I have.”

I have to give Lars credit. The man has never looked at any woman other than Billie. I’m standing here in my bra and short shorts, and Lars hasn’t looked at me once.

“I missed one show,” I huff, pulling a Gutless Void sweater over my head. It’s snug and emphasizes my double D breasts, but at least it covers my skin.

Lars gazes out the tinted bus windows, his brows knit. “You’ve never missed a show, Kaye. What’s going on?”

I open the fridge and take out a beer. “If you must know, I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Bullshit. You get on that stage even when you’re on the brink of death.”

My eyes flutter closed as I inhale deeply. I want to lash out at Lars before breaking down in tears. I love the members of Gutless Void. They’ve become my family. For a girl like me, who grew up believing no one cared, having the guys and Billie in my life has healed the broken pieces of the person I once was. How can I explain that I don’t want to expose an old wound without telling Lars why?

“Hey,” Lars whispers.

I flinch as he touches my arm and scramble out of his grasp.

Lars straightens, his eyes forming slits. “Kaye, what’s up? I’ve never seen you like this. You’ve been a stone-cold bitch for as long as I’ve known you.”

Lars doesn’t wait for an answer. He turns his back to me and starts opening and slamming the cupboards on the bus. He frantically shoves his hands between the seat cushions, searching for something unseen.

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer my question, storming past me to the bedroom at the back of the bus and opening drawers. “Where are the drugs, Kaye?”

“What?” I shout. “What drugs? I don’t even smoke weed.” I lift the pack of cigarettes from the table and wave it in Lars’ face. “Unless you count these. I quit, but working for you is stressful, and I picked up the habit again.”

Lars shoves his hand through his hair in frustration, mussing the dark strands. “You’re acting so fuckin’ out of character. If it’s not drugs, what the fuck is it?”

“I don’t feel well, okay? Can’t a girl be sick once in a while?”

“Kaye, nothing stops you from working. You could die, and your spirit would still show up. So cut the crap and tell me what’s up.”

I turn my back on him and hide in the small bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, I drop my head into my hands and let the tears I’ve been holding back fall.

I don’t understand why I can’t pull myself together. Why can’t I realize the past is the past and I’m not the same girl I once was? My strength has forged this career and made me a force to reckon with, but right now, all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep. I have no desire to get dressed, eat, or even argue with the four men who’ve become like brothers.

A soft tap sounds at the door. “Kaye?”

I ignore Lars’ pleading voice, hoping he’ll tire himself out and leave.