Page 32 of His Other Half

Chapter 13

Josie

Josie took her journalout of the dresser drawer, grabbed the pen on her nightstand, and plopped down on the bed. She flipped through the book and found the first blank page.

She sighed and started writing.

Banks let me off work two hours early tonight. I don't know what was going on, but several Tarkio members showed up, and the next thing I knew, he told me I could leave. It was a nice break, considering its Saturday. It's been busy all week, so the break was nice. I got caught up on laundry and deep cleaned the apartment by the time Cami came home, and we made a big salad and shared dinner.

Cami seems to be doing better. The last several nights, I haven't heard her struggling to sleep. I think her better mood has a lot to do with Chrischris friending her. I don't even think she realizes how much he's helping her by being around. She feels safe, and having company is nice for her. I worry about her, though. I hope being pregnant isn't making her see something in Chrischris that isn't there. He is a biker. I hope she doesn't get hurt or depend on him too much.

She tapped the pen against the journal. Maybe she was reflecting her thoughts about Paco on to Cami and Chrischris.

Chrischris wasn't like Paco. At least at work. He was dependable, never missing a day.

I need to stop thinking about Paco. That includes writing about him or my feelings toward him.

She tossed the pen on the nightstand, set her journal on the floor, and turned off the lamp. Laying on top of the blankets, she rolled onto her side and cuddled her pillow to her chest.

Two days ago, she'd decided never to write about her feelings toward her father. Tonight, she'd put Paco in her past. Over the weekend, she planned to face the rising sun and say her thanks for her life.

Since she couldn't participate in the Sun Dance with her people, she would honor the sun on her own for four days by observing the rise and fall.

A heaviness settled in her chest. She mourned for all the years she'd turned her back on her people's beliefs. For the years, she'd attended the Sun Dance festival only to hang with her friends—friends who had turned their back when she'd left the only home she'd ever known.

For how much she wanted to hate how things were done on the Rez, she longed for the familiar. For the days, her mother was alive, and she remembered the affection and acceptance.

While she couldn't go back, she would go forward by herself. She would create fulfillment on her own.

She would take the good and leave the past. Embrace the spirits and expel the demons.

A click disturbed her silence. She startled, opening her eyes.

Straining to hear, she reached out to the nightstand, where she always placed a hunting knife.

The floor creaked. Wrapping her fingers around the handle, she stayed in bed, hoping it was Paco. If it was, she was going to send him away for scaring her to death. It wasn't normal to walk into someone else's house.

But what if it was a burglar? Or Askook?

She silently moved, putting her bare feet on the floor. Holding the knife at her side, she stepped over to the far wall. She reached up with her free hand and grabbed the curtain.

Footsteps grew louder. She slowed her breathing.

When the steps quieted, and she sensed someone at the door of the bedroom, she yanked the curtain open, knowing the glow of the street light would shine in.

Her shoulders fell in relief. Paco.

He needed to stop scaring her to death. It was hard enough living on her own but knowing Askook believed she belonged to him and could come after her, even off the reservation, was dangerous for Paco. What if she'd stabbed him?

"Josie?"

She stepped out into the light from the street. "You can't break into my apartment anymore."

Glad she wore a short nightgown to cover her naked body, she set the knife on the chair by her closet.

"You want me to go?" He remained by the door.

Her throat closed. Of course, she wanted him to stay. It was the way he went about seeing her that turned her off.