Page 101 of The Sandbar saga

Chapter 39

After dinner, the emceefor the night encouraged everyone to walk into the adjoining conference room and partake in the auction where all profits would benefit the mental health wing at the local hospital. Katie held Race's hand, following along with him. She was out of her element.

Most attendees were at least twice her age and wealthy. If that wasn't enough to intimidate her, knowing they worked with Race, she tried to be on her best behavior and not ask anything immature or ignorant, so as not to embarrass him.

Though Race seemed unaffected by the crowd. He kept touching her, holding her hand, whispering in her ear. Her nerves were shot. She shook so bad, all through dinner, she was afraid of knocking over her wine glass or dropping a piece of her food down the front of her dress.

She couldn't wait to get out of here. All she wanted to do was be alone with Race anyway.

The announcer called everybody's attention to the front of the room. Race stayed where he was and brought her in front of him, holding her hips.

As a long list of names were read, thanking them for their donations, she wasn't surprised to hear Dr. Race Conner's name. For how supportive he'd been to her growing up, he probably helped a lot of people, not to mention the hospital.

Race leaned down and put his lips on her ear and whispered, "We'll leave as soon as they call my name again."

She nodded.

The winners of a silent auction were announced, item by item. She leaned against Race, letting her mind wander.

He had a way of grounding her to the moment and making her question everything. Those questions couldn't be silenced.

Since coming back to Astoria, she'd been caught up in the emotions centered around telling Race he was a father, pushing her way into his life again. She hadn't considered if he felt tied down by her return

There were times, she could feel the anger rolling off him. She understood why.

If roles were reversed, she had no idea if she could forgive someone for keeping her child from her. In fact, she knew forgiveness would be impossible for her. But she hadn't planned on getting pregnant. Race had made it clear the night they'd made love, several times, that he would never allow their love affair to continue in the way she needed to be with him.

He wanted her to be older and more mature. To him, she would always be younger, no matter if she was a mother, had a career, and owned her own house. He'd struggled with the laws of being a psychologist, knowing he wasn't permitted to love her. Being a doctor was essential to him. He was a professional, and while he wanted her, he knew he couldn't have her.

She turned in his arms. "I need to talk to you."

"In a minute."

"I need to know what you want from me." She held on to his jacket. "Why did you bring me—?"

"Dr. Race Conner has the winning bid for the trip for two to Hawaii," shouted the announcer.

He frowned, gazing between her and the front of the room. "I need to get this."

He walked away from her. Being with him, touching him, was something she'd dreamed about for the last five years. And, he was still putting barriers in front of her.

As he disappeared in the crowd, she looked between the bodies and tables, unable to see where he went. Noticing open doors to the side of the room, leading outside, she slipped out of the room onto the patio.

Breathing in the cooler air, she gulped for breath. Had she misunderstood Race when he'd confessed to wanting her?

She thought he'd gotten past being angry at her for having Callie without telling him. Maybe he was still punishing her.

Maybe tonight's dinner around his colleagues reminded him of what he stood for and solidified his belief that he couldn't be involved with a current or past patient.

It'd taken her five years to stop breaking down every time she thought of him. It'd taken five years of being angry that he wasn't there to help her with Callie. It'd take five years for her to find the strength to come back to Astoria, and she'd worked hard to make that happen.

Had it all been for nothing, and he was never going to allow them to be together?

She walked to the railing. The lights on the Megler Bridge lit up the caps of water as the tide came in on the sandbar. She shivered, drawn to the water.

Water swift enough to wash a person back to the ocean. In one second, life could be taken, swallowed by the greatest force on earth.

She couldn't lose Race again. They were destined to be together. Couldn't he see that their lives were entwined?