Page 247 of Mountain Men Heroes
“Gabriella, sweetie, you okay?” Amber asked.
I turned my head toward her and blinked. Having the image of the tiny blip on the screen out of my line of sight helped to clear my mind a bit.
“It’s not possible,” I whispered. “I would have known sooner, right? A good mother would have known.”
“Not necessarily,” Dr. Walker said.
I turned toward her, tilting my chin down so I could see her and the ultrasound image was only a speck in my peripheral vision. “I swear, I haven’t had sex in three months.”
She nodded. “I believe you. And you don’t owe anyone an explanation.” She held my eyes until I nodded my understanding.
I drew my brows together. “Okay.”
Amber squeezed my hand offering me her strength and I could see understanding and love for our friendship in her eyes.
“From the looks of things, you’re just about three months along. The timeline fits so that should give you a level of comfort.”
Three months. And I thought it was all the weekend cocktails and all the bread I loved. “Doctor, I’ve had stuff I shouldn’t have.”
Fear gripped my heart, wound around my soul, and stole my breath.
What if I’ve hurt my baby before it’s had a chance?
My eyes flew to the screen and my hand covered my belly. Protective instincts I never knew I possessed surged to the forefront. “Is he all right? I’m not supposed to have alcohol or caffeine and I work in a tattoo shop with dyes and chemicals. Is he okay? Does that mean something could be wrong with the baby?”
“No,” Dr. Walker quickly assured me. “Everything looks good. Your symptoms and the ultrasound show nothing but a very normal, typical pregnancy. Even the abdominal discomfort is to be expected. Honestly, everything looks just right.”
My mind raced over the last several weeks.
Dr. Walker removed the wand from my body, pushing the stool she sat on backward. “Relax, Gabriella. You have no reason to worry. You’re coming to the end of your first trimester, but right now everything looks great.”
I sat up, shifting the gown over my legs. No reason to worry? Was she crazy? I had a million reasons to worry. Starting with the fact that I was pregnant with a one-night stand’s baby and ending with the fact I had no experience with good parents. My own placed me in foster care before I turned two and the foster parents I had in the years between then and now were not exactly models to base my own parenting on.
The little soul inside me needed me to be strong, but I felt anything but capable. “I can’t do this.”
Amber draped her arm across my shoulders. “You’ll be fine, Gabriella. We’ll figure it all out. We always do.”
“I know this is a lot to take in.” Dr. Walker moved the ultrasound machine aside and came to stand on my other side.
I blinked. Once. And then again. “I can’t do this. I can’t…I can’t do this.”
“There’s always foster care to consider.”
“No!” A sense of protectiveness swept over me.
And at that moment the real truth hit me with the power of a freight train. I would do anything in my power to take care of the child growing in my womb. Anything.
The little soul was my family. A surge of longing shot through me at the thought and protectiveness followed hot on its heels with a violence that almost knocked me off the table.
Dr. Walker held up her hands, palms out. “My apologies. I misunderstood. When you said you couldn’t do this, I assumed you meant…” She waved a hand in the air.
I shook my head and blew out a breath slowly as I felt my blood pressure climb down a notch.
“You’re probably right, though. I’ll probably make a terrible mother. But I’m not giving up on him.”
Dr. Walker offered me a soft smile. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Gabriella. From what I just saw, you already have the most important part of motherhood down pat—you’re obviously willing to do anything to protect your baby. I have no doubt you’ll be a wonderful mother.”
I prayed she was right.