Page 72 of Fake Dark Vows
“On?” When I don’t answer immediately, she adds, “Surely, there must’ve been an easier way to salvage your reputation.”
“This is the age of technology, Mom. Reputations can be destroyed with one viral comment.”
“Okay. So, what happens when this blows over? You both go your separate ways, and Rose signs an NDA that you hope she honors?”
“Something like that.”
It was obvious this morning that it’s what Rose wants. The hairs on the back of my neck have settled down, but the sinking feeling in my gut is back.
Why am I disappointed? Had my ego convinced me that I was irresistible to all women, even someone like Rose, or had I assumed that she’d felt the spark too? The blood pumping through my veins isn’t imaginary—it was real, whatever the fuck it was.
“Honey, I asked you if you wanted our help.” My mother’s voice slices through the scene in my head where I spread Rose’s legs wide. Good timing—we’re almost at the hotel.
“And I said I had everything under control.”
“I don’t think you understand, Brandon. You can’t just kiss a girl like Rose goodbye and wish her a nice life. You’ve given her a taste of something that’s outside of her reality.”
“I thought that’s what you did when you offered her a job.”
“People walk away from jobs all the time and never look back.”
“Mom, stop worrying about me. I’m a big boy now.”
“I’m your mother. I’ll never stop worrying about you.”
I smile at that. “Okay, you’ll just have to trust my judgment on this occasion.”
“I only want you to be happy, Brandon. I always hoped that you would find someone to love, someone to spend the rest of your life with.”
“How do you know that I haven’t?”
“Have you?” My mother’s voice is demanding, hungry. “Do you want to spend the rest of your life with Rose? Because if you don’t, the longer you allow this situation to continue, the harder it will be to resolve. Attachments will be formed. Alliances that can’t be severed with a fat check and a witnessed document. Do you understand what I’m saying, Brandon?”
“I understand.” It’s the reason why, until now, I’ve learned to satisfy my needs with one-night stands and move on, this fear of creating connections that are impossible to cut.
“Don’t drag it out. The sooner you let her go, the better.”
“The Venetian,” the driver announces as we pull up outside the entrance and my mother ends the call.
I settle the fee and enter the air-conditioned lobby. I need a drink.
At the bar, I order a double brandy and down it in one mouthful. Rose will have recovered from her hangover, but I have no idea what mood she’ll be in when I go back to the room. It would be easier if I understood which Rose I’d like to find, but I guess to do that, I need to understand my own feelings, and right now they’re tied up in a knot in the pit of my stomach.
I head to the elevator and realize, when my legs start to tremble, that I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I check my watch. We still have time to eat before the show.
Letting myself in the door, I hear the shower running. I hang my jacket up in the closet, pour myself another brandy, and help myself to a packet of pistachio nuts from the mini bar. I’m sitting on the balcony in a repeat performance of breakfast when Rose emerges in the same fluffy white robe, her hair fastened into a messy bun on top of her head.
“Brandon, you’re back.” She takes the seat opposite me and pulls the robe more snugly across her chest.
I pretend not to notice. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” She still looks pale, washed out, like someone sucked all the color from her. My cheeks grow hot at the mental image. “How was the trip?”
“A waste of time.” I sip my brandy and study her profile as her eyes roam across the opposite tower and the pure blue pools below us. It might be my imagination, but she seems softer somehow, a little blurred around the edges. Or perhaps it’s the brandy. “What did you do all day?” It comes out all wrong.
She smiles anyway. “I didn’t become human again until lunchtime. So, I ordered room service and then went for a dip in the pool. Did you know that you can sit on a lounger in the water?” Her smile is wide, revealing perfect white teeth. Contagious.
I find myself grinning back at her. “I’ll check it out tomorrow.”