Page 29 of Rite of Blood and Secrets

I tighten my hand around Pip's lead, but she's too busy chewing on her piece of bread to notice. "The woman you killed last night."

"Oh." His expression is hard to read. He's either ashamed of himself, or ashamed that I'm even asking him the question in the first place. "I had to do that. It was part of the instructions I was given. If anyone sees me as weak, my position as heir becomes untenable and I could die."

"I see." I don't. There are some lines I wouldn't cross in order to stay alive, and that's one of them, but Bastian seems to think differently. And I suppose I can't really blame him. The alternative to all of this is that we'd both be dead this morning. I guess the only difference between what I'm doing, and what Bastian has done, is that someone has ended up dead because of his determination.

"Don't hate me, Bea. Please?" The expression on his face makes it hard to resist.

"I don't hate you," I promise. "But please don't lose yourself. You're not a killer, don't let that change."

"I'm not planning on changing," he responds quickly.

"Good. Then we can put yesterday behind us." It's a lie, but I don't think he can tell that. As much as I want to be able to move on and pretend yesterday didn't happen, I'm not foolish enough to think it's actually going to be possible. There are some things that can't be erased once they've been seen, and what he did last night is one of them.

But I also can't hold that against him forever. I don't condone death, but what's done is done. All I can do now is hope that my trust in my brother isn't misplaced and he won't do anything like that again.

I'm finally able to focus on my breakfast and top the bread with something that looks a bit like the goat cheese one of the farmers sells. I've never had it, but always wanted to try it. I guess now that's a possibility.

I bite into the bread and almost close my eyes at the explosion of flavours. This is so much better than anything I've ever eaten before. And I'm going to make the most of it before something inevitably tears it all away.

Pip pushes her head against my leg, asking me for more food. Despite knowing I shouldn't, I take a piece of ham and feed her it.

"You're not going to be able to do that at dinner tonight," Bastian warns me.

"What's happening tonight?" I ask, tearing off another piece for Pip.

"Family dinner," he says. "To properly welcome us into the House. You'll get to meet Bella's husband."

"Bella has a husband?"

He nods. "Some lord of a minor House. He's not particularly important."

The statement raises several questions, including why Bella was with us last night instead of with her husband, and the fact she's plotting to try and marry Marcus. Perhaps it's something to do with vampire politics that I'm clueless about. Though Eliza did mention a library, perhaps some of the answers I seek might lie there. "Is there anything I'm required for before dinner?" I ask.

Bastian shrugs. "Not as far as I know."

"Then I think I'll go find the library."

"Ah, good. You can't get into much trouble there," he says.

"Mmm." I don't want to agree, because I feel like that would be a lie. I intend to find information in the library that can keep me alive, and hopefully out of this mess of Bastian's making.

Chapter 16

Despite not being able to find Eliza, I was able to get directions to the library from one of the servants, reassuring me that it's somewhere I'm allowed to be unsupervised.

I turn the corner, wishing Pip could have come with me, but thinking better of it until I know what kind of place I'm walking into. I don't want to upset anyone by bringing my dog with me.

The library opens up in front of me and I let out a small gasp. It's bigger than I ever imagined possible, with three different levels and bookcases everywhere. The wood is polished to a high sheen, and it's clear that everything is well cared for. I've never been able to have much time for books, mostly because they're so expensive, but this makes me think it might almost be worth being a vampire.

I walk amongst the stacks, admiring the colourful bindings of the various books. I don't really know where to start when it comes to researching vampire politics, but there's a part of me that just wants to start pulling things off the shelves and start reading them.

I'm so distracted by the books that I run into someone, almost knocking myself down in the process.

A firm hand steadies me, and I look up to find a familiar face in front of me.

"We meet again," the mysterious man says, amusement dancing over a face that's much more handsome when it's not dark and he's not drunk.

"Hopefully with less wine involved this time."