Page 9 of Stoney Gazes for Helpful Gorgons

"Nope, if you're buying, you get the points. It's only fair."

"Ah, true. What about this one?" He gestures towards a booth which is out of the way of other people and kind of private. It makes me wonder exactly what he thinks this is.

Though when I got his message, I assumed it was because he wanted to talk, and this is a better place than out in the open where everyone can overhear us.

"Looks good." I slide into the booth and make myself comfortable, rolling my shoulders. They're aching a little from carrying my stuff around all day.

Jack gets in after me and scans the QR code so he can pull up the menu. "What do you want to drink?"

"A coke. And a burger."

"What kind?"

"I don't know, what have they got?"

"Hmm, let's see...just a burger, Hawaiian, Caribbean, Everything, Fully Loaded, The Jack..."

I raise an eyebrow. "The Jack?"

"Don't believe me?" He turns his phone around so I can see the title of the burger.

"Huh, something to do with the cheese. You know what, I'm feeling adventurous, let's try the Jack."

He chuckles. "Hopefully he won't disappoint you."

"He hasn't yet," I joke.

"To be fair, it sounds pretty good," he says. "I'm going to try it too." He clicks a few times and then puts his phone face down on the table.

I study him intently, trying to work out exactly what's different about me.

"What are you thinking?" he asks.

"Just that you seem so relaxed. It's strange, you've been so on edge when we've been in the grief sessions." I don't even think about lying.

"Don't you feel more relaxed here too?"

I frown. A part of me wants to deny it, but I realise he's right. "I guess so."

"Because you didn't come here to talk about what's bothering you. When I go to the grief sessions, that's all everything is about. But here, it's different. We're having some food and chatting. We could completely ignore that either of us have lost family members if we wanted to."

"I hadn't thought about it that way. I guess every time I have a glimpse of a good time now that Granny is gone, I feel guilty."

"I know what you mean, but you're not supposed to stop living your life because you lost someone. You can be sad about them being gone, and happy about the rest, all at the same time."

"That's a lot of feelings to hold in at once."

"It is," he agrees. "But to some extent, that's what we're built to deal with."

"You're very wise about all of this."

He shrugs. "Just practised."

A bartender appears and sets two pints of coke swimming with ice down in front of us.

"Thanks," I say, reaching out for one of the glasses at the same time as Jack does. Our fingers brush against one another and I feel a tingle I don't think I've felt before.

I dismiss it. I'm just imagining things, and this isn't exactly the time to be thinking about anything like that. Not when everything is so volatile within me.