Page 46 of Fight for You
Hell, there's no way I'd be okay with her getting pregnant at sixteen. We're too fucking young to have kids. Between school, taking care of Ma Lucia, keeping Kaleo from claiming this block, and all the shit that goes hand-in-hand with that responsibility, I barely have time to see my girl. There's no way I could juggle a kid on top of it. And there's no way I'm letting her jeopardize her future by becoming a teen mom. That's exactly why we decided she needed to be on birth control. That's why I carry a condom everywhere I go. I'm not taking any chances.
Eventually, I know I won't be able to tell her no anymore. It's already hard as hell to keep pulling us back from the edge. As soon as I feel her soft hands on my body or she pulls her shirt off and puts my hands on her, I lose track of everything but her. I want her more than she knows. But when we finally do take that step, I want us both to be prepared.
"He's so mad at me."
"You were throwing shit at him, January." I don't mention the definite handprint across his cheek.
"Only because he said he was going to kill you!" she cries.
I shake my head, bemused at how upset she is over that. It's equal parts adorable and ridiculous. I love her for wanting to fight for me, but damn. She's five-two. If Titan really wanted to kill me, it'd take a hell of a lot more than her little ass and a couple of well-aimed remotes to stop him. He lived up to his name. He's linebacker big, with a temper to match.
"I love you for trying to defend me," I tell her, tipping her head back and forcing her to look at me. Seeing the tears still shimmering in those long lashes breaks my heart all over again. She's too beautiful, like a little porcelain doll. She was made for laughter, not tears. "But no more throwing shit at him. He could have hurt you."
"He'd never hurt me," she protests, jumping to his defense.
"He'd never hurt you on purpose," I agree before she gets herself all wound up, trying to defend him this time. I swear to God, she's like a little lioness sometimes, so damn protective of me and Titan. It's absurd. What she thinks she's protecting us from when we run this fucking block and are over twice her size, I don't know. But she tries anyway. "He could have easily hurt you by accident and then you'd both feel terrible."
"Okay," she agrees and then buries her face in my throat once more. She's not crying anymore though, thank God.
I close my eyes and just hold her. She's so soft and sweet. Her body fits with mine like she was made to cradle my larger frame. She's soft where I'm hard. If there's anything better in the world than the feel of her in my arms, I don't know if I'll survive finding it. This is perfection enough for one man.
"How's Ma Lucia?" she asks a few minutes later, worry in her voice. She loves Ma Lucia. Everyone does.
"She's a little better," I lie. She's not better at all. Truth is, she probably isn't going to make it home from the hospital, but I don't have the heart to tell January that. I'm not even ready to face it myself. Ma Lucia is the only family I have left—except for January and Titan, anyway.
I've known for a while that she isn't doing well, but there is no such thing as preparing to lose someone you love. Watching her waste away brings back too many memories of losing my mom. She was there one minute, then gone the next…killed by a man who thought driving right after hitting the crack pipe was a good idea.
I still have nightmares about the accident. About lying there and listening to him scream about killing her. That memory is still painful. I try not to dwell on it, but watching Ma Lucia waste away brought it roaring back to the surface.
"Can I go see her soon?" January asks me.
"Yeah, sweetheart. I'll take you to see her tomorrow," I promise, knowing I need to give her a chance to say goodbye. It'll devastate her if she doesn't get to see Ma Lucia before she dies. It'll break Ma Lucia's heart too. Ma Lucia adores my girl.
"Okay," January says sweetly.
"You good now, baby girl?" I ask her a minute later.
She nods her head, the top of it bumping my chin with the motion.
"Then I need to go deal with Titan."
"Please don't get in a fight with him," she whispers, clearly distressed by the thought.
"I'm not going to fight him." He might take a swing at me, but I won't fight back. He has every right to be pissed that his best friend wants to sleep with his little sister. I can't blame him for that. If our roles were reversed, I'd be pissed. But he knows I love January and that it wouldn't be simple fucking for either of us. As soon as she's old enough, I plan to put my ring on her finger and make her my wife.
"Promise?" she demands, pulling back to peek up at me.
"I promise you that I'm not going to fight with him," I vow.
The worry in her eyes leeches away, replaced with trust.
"Okay," she says and leans in to brush her lips across mine in a sweet little kiss.
I find Titan reclining on the hood of my car, one arm thrown over his eyes to block out the setting sun. His body is tense, his cheeks flushed with anger. He appears as pissed as he did inside, but when he hears me coming, he doesn't try to take a swing. Instead, he lowers his arm enough to peer at me.
"Boots got picked up yesterday for boosting car stereos over on Rosecrans," he mutters.
"Dammit. They release him yet?"