Page 5 of Don't Fall For Your Grumpy Neighbor

She takes another sip of the coffee and sets it down. “Ok, deal.”

“So you’re really not gonna ask Bill for his leaf blower?”

“No,” I sip from my mug, “I’m not. It’s almost winter anyway. The snow will come and the leaves will be a good insulator for the grass.”

“The grass is already dead, Shepherd.”

I look around. “Oh well. They’ll crumble and blow away when it gets colder.”

She’s still looking around my lawn. “I could help out too.”

“You?” I’ll admit, the thought of her on my front lawn raking up my leaves in some tight little yoga pants and her bouncy hair in a ponytail kinda gets me going.

“Yeah, I have a rake. I did my own leaves.”

“Did you now?” I continue to sip my coffee.

“I didn’t have anyone else to do it for me after…” She trails off.

There’s a hint of sadness on her face, and I don’t like it. As annoying as she can be, her bubbly personality is like a fixture I’ve come to rely on in the years we’ve been neighbors.

“After what?” I ask her.

“After Karl and I broke up.”

Wait. Stop the presses.

“You broke up?”

She nods. “Yes.” She steps further away from me. “It’s nothing,” she says, waving off her statement. “It’s fine. I’m over it.”

“Are you?”

Her eyes crash into mine. “Yes. I’m over him. And well…I need a favor from you.”

I shift on my feet. “Name it.”

“I need a date.”

“What? And you think I know someone?”

“No, I think you’ll look good in a suit.”

“You’re joking.”

“I’m really not.”

I let a moment of silence sink in as I think about this. She tries to pretend she doesn’t hate the coffee as I do. On the one hand, I have to mingle with strangers at an office party. On the other hand, she’s cute and I’ll get some free drinks out of it.

“Come on, Shep, will you do it?”

“This weekend?”

“Yeah, Saturday at seven.”

“What’s in it for me?”

She can’t hear my thoughts, might as well see what else I can get out of this. Free drinks are great and all, but I might need a little more incentive. She reaches the coffee mug toward me, handing it back. I’m surprised to see she’s actually finished half of it.