Page 23 of Hayes

"We- we were together two nights ago." Camelia could not stay seated. She got up from the chair and went to the tray to select a few sandwiches, even though her appetite was not there. "And I know what you are going to say."

"Do you?" Angela pulled the throw rug over her aching knees and wondered if she should perhaps go and pay a visit to her doctor. Getting old was so damn inconvenient, she thought. "And you allowed him to make love to you, igniting the flames already simmering. In doing so, you confessed."

"Yes. He thought I aborted the baby."

Her eyes flared. "How could he think that of you?"

"I don't know, maybe because I left without a word." Balancing the plate on her knees, she picked at the thin bread. "He wants to start back up again. He is insisting on it. His mother told him of her part in the entire thing, and he is upset."

"Of course he is." Angela's dark brown eyes studied the younger woman's face. "And you? What do you want?"

"I love him," she admitted whimsically. "I never stopped loving him. But I cannot be with him, knowing that I would not be able to give him a child. I told him that."

"And it did not make a difference."

"No. I told him I needed time. Several weeks. He gave me one week. I know him, he is stubborn and determined to have his own way. He resents the fact that I took the decision away from him and is determined not to allow it to happen again. He said if I leave, he will come after me."

"Sounds like a man head over heels in love. He surprises me."

She stared at her aunt with a frown. "Why?"

"The boy was gorgeous, an overachiever, one with oodles of money and a family well-placed in society. He could have anyone he wanted, and he became fixated on you. I have to tell you, darling, I don't have a lot of faith in the male population, but I think he might be an exception." Angela stirred her tea.

"Your father was weak–" She shook her head when her niece opened her mouth to protest.

"We are going to talk about it, darling, I insist. Carlton was weak and selfish. He had extreme talent, but he allowed himself to be led by a greedy and selfish woman who flaunted her beauty and talent shamelessly. Fortunately, you took her looks, your beauty surpassed hers and that did not sit well with her.

Even at a very young age, you displayed very fine characteristics; you are strong and honest and the complete opposite of what she and my brother were. She knew it and hated it, so she kept you away from you. In his own self-absorbed way, he loved you, and she could not bear the competition."

"That's an awful thing to say about the dead who are not here to defend themselves. And in spite of their many faults, they were my parents."

"You know what I say is the truth," Angela told her bluntly. "They destroyed your life as if they had turned the gun on you. But you are very strong, as I said, and I admire your ability to bounce back." Taking a sip of the tea, she eyed her niece over the cup. "You should go and be with him."

"What?"

"Hayes Marsden loves you. I doubted that before, thinking that a man like him would not–" She shook her head. "But you are an exquisitely beautiful woman and not shallow like your mother was. You have excellent qualities, which makes it easy for men to be drawn to you. More importantly, he loves you and you love him," she smiled slightly.

"You suffered for years after the miscarriage. I watched you become withdrawn, and the sparkle of life that had been so much a part of you disappeared. Even when you started going out, there was nothing there and it's because of him. You love him, darling, and for love to outlast those awful things in your past, I'd say it has stood the test of time."

"I cannot be with him!" she said forcefully, hating her aunt for giving her hope. "I will not be able to give him a child."

"You don't know that."

"The doctors could be wrong."

"I cannot take that chance."

Her aunt gave her a shrewd glance. "You are afraid. I recalled how broken up you were about the loss of the baby and how you found it very difficult to get out of bed. You are afraid to hope because your dream is to have a child to love—his child."

"Yes," she whispered. "When I discovered that I was pregnant, the first thought was that I wanted this baby; the second was that our lives would be ruined. But the very first thought was that of excitement. I did not care about putting aside our dreams to carry that baby into the world.

When it happened with Mom and Dad, I was scared, I still am, that I would be like them, that I was tainted, had inherited their genes. But yes, I wanted that baby so much, I could taste it. And now I am afraid to hope. I cannot take the risk."

"Then what are you going to do, hon?"

"I have no idea," she admitted with a breathless laugh. "He is determined to do this and I- I am not strong enough to resist. I will take the week and sort things out inside my head."

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