Page 19 of Nanny for the Firefighters

"Yeah, we're safe this time," Ethan counters, his eyes locking with mine in the rearview mirror. "But one of these days, our luck might run out. And I'm not sure the captain will see it your way, not if we keep being this risky."

9

MARCUS

Pacing around the half-empty bay of the fire station, I can't shake the nervous feeling in my chest. It's hard to hand over control at times, even though I know that I can trust my men. I can trust Theo to lead the men. He has good instincts, even if he can be a bit risky. Everyone will return safe.

Unable to keep still, I straighten the jackets still hung on their hooks, check the air in the remaining tanks, count the fire kits and incident gear, putting my hands on everything in reach until I've made it through it all.

After another lap around the bay, I wipe a hand down my face. The radio crackles at my belt.

"It's Chief McIntyre, status report."

"The structure is unstable." Ethan's usually boisterous voice is somber and serious. "Theo just took Martinez back in after one last person."

I stifle my sigh. "How unstable?"

"It's a big risk, Sir. A big risk."

My heart thumps against my sternum. I should have gone with them instead of staying behind to man the paperwork. I make a better leader in the field than I do sitting around my office. It doesn't matter if I have to take stacks of forms home with me or stay the extra hour to complete them if it means I'm there to keep my men safe.

My anxiety doesn't ebb until Ethan comes back over the radio. "Everyone's out and safe. We're clear."

I let out the breath I've been holding and march up to the break room to make coffee. One of Lily's teething rings is hidden behind the pot. I'm not surprised we missed one. My baby girl made a mess of this place while we had her here.

The relief of knowing someone is home with her is a balm against my frazzled nerves. I don't remember the mountains of Afghanistan being this stressful, but trying to create stability for Lily while dedicating myself to running this fire station has nothing on my days as a ranger.

Then, I knew how to manage the unexpected. I didn't have the stress of reprimanding my fellow rangers on the way they completed their jobs. I only had to survive. But now, I have so much more responsibility—with the station, with my men, at home with my daughter.

It's obvious that I need to be out with my men on calls, but striving for stability as a single father is taking its toll.

Once my coffee is brewed and my mug is full, the fire engine pulls back into the bay and the men file out, unloading equipment, stripping off their gear, slapping backs and shoulders, and congratulating each other on a job well done. I stand at the top of the stairs, sipping the too hot coffee and watching them until Ethan looks up to catch my eye.

Whereas I'm aware of the change that happens in all of us when the bells ring and we're called out to an emergency, by the time we return, the comradery and jokes return, but Ethan remains serious.

That's not a good sign. I wave him up to have a chat.

Leaning against my desk, I cross my arms and sip my coffee. Ethan enters like a sourpuss, and we stare at each other for a few long minutes.

"What happened?" I prompt, my jaw clenching.

Ethan is the last of us to harp on anyone, so when he wipes his hand down his face and sighs, I know it's worse than I've been imagining.

"The place nearly fell down on us the first venture in, Cap." He plops down in the seat in front of me and slumps back. "Then, he goes back in for a last guy. Granted, we all heard the cry, and I get it. But he took in Martinez, and they only made it out by luck. Someday, Theo's luck is going to run out. I've already told him as much."

I hum a noncommittal noise, unwilling to voice an opinion about one of my men in front of another without them present. "Thank you, Ethan. I'll take care of it."

He sits in my chair for another handful of minutes.

"Unless there's something else you had to say about the matter?"

"They saved him. We got everyone out because of him, and I don't want gloss over that, Cap. Theo's good at his job. They got him out." Ethan stands, running his hands through his hair before dropping them. His smile is a grimace as he backs out of my office.

I finish my coffee and take a deep breath before marching back out to the railing by the stairs, observing the routines until Theo catches my gaze. I gesture him up to me, pointing to my office.

His mouth tightens, and he nods, holding up the gear in his hands.

I wait him out, not moving until he breaches the top of the stairs. Turning, I follow him inside and close the door behind me.