Page 90 of Scoring Chances

It’s thirty minutes later when an Amber alert goes out with Parker’s details. Reece is listed on there too.

I used to ignore those texts.

Especially in the area where we live. They come so frequently.

Don’t get me wrong–I would eventually look at them. Sometimes a few seconds later. Sometimes a few minutes. But they always came through at the most inconvenient times.

Now, I pray that every person inconvenienced by the alert will take a moment to just look at it. Consider if they’ve seen him. Call the police, if they have.

Because my heart is in pieces over a little boy that just a month ago–I felt nothing for.

But now. It feels like my very heart has been ripped from my chest.

We search the entire neighborhood. We knock on every door. The police have canines. We search the area by the docks where Cassidy and I danced that night. I stare at the water too long. Hoping that he didn’t jump like he did that day at the pool here at home.

A dive team goes into the lake around noon.

Calls come in from every which way.

Heatwave players and staff. The boys. Reporters. Mom. Oliver. Priscilla, his caseworker.

But none of the calls are to tell me they’ve found him.

That afternoon, it’s reported on the news. A picture of my sweet Parker there on the screen for everyone to see.

Cassidy had plenty of pictures of him with the exact swimming trunks he had on today. I stare at him smiling face on the screen. An innocent. And it angers me. It saddens me.

It kills me.

Reece is the number one suspect. All the other staff at the house, anyone who had access are called in for questioning.

No stone is left unturned.

Cassidy storms in from the front door. “I’m going to check all the rooms again.”

She stops when she sees me. My head hanging. Lips moving.

“Joshua? Are you okay?”

I look up from my prayer. I pray to God. I pray to the universe. I pray to anyone who might be listening. I promise that I’ll do better. I promise that if Parker is returned safely, I’ll never let him out of my sight.

I promise that I’ll do whatever it takes to have him close. His siblings close. Because the thought of losing any of them steals the very breath from my lungs.

And that’s what Cassidy sees in that moment. A man at rock bottom. A man bargaining.

“Oh, Joshua,” she throws her arms around me. “We’re going to find him. He’s going to be okay.”

“He deserves so much more than what I’ve given him. He deserves all of me.”

She nods against my back.

“And he’ll have it. He’ll get to know what it’s like to have a father that loves him, wholeheartedly. Because he’ll have that in you.”

I choke back another sob.

“I’m going to check the rooms,” she says again.

I nod.