Page 7 of Offensive Plays
"Just ice?" I whisper back, confused.
The lady seated in front of us shushes us.
He nods with a smirk, and I notice Kesley go beet red like she knows exactly why he wants it. Something tells me he doesn't intend to eat the ice. I roll my eyes and pull my arm away, slowly maneuvering over the strangers next to us until I get to the end of the row and can finally make my escape.
My phone buzzes again in my back pocket. I'm careful not to make a mockery of my profession by tripping in these damn heels, but I can barely see the steps in front of me.
When I make it down without looking like an idiot in front of this packed theater, I confidently walk the rest of the way to the theater exit. I pull out my phone and open the notification for my dating app.
A new photo has been received.
I lose all my senses when I open it and see what it is.
Tripping over nothing at all, my phone goes flying through the air with a picture of a very pierced, very well-endowed schlong open for all to see. I nearly fall flat on my face, but strong arms are there to catch me just as my phone hits the floor—screen up—a few feet away.
"Woah, woah. You ok there—Oh! Libby!"
The man holds me by my shoulders until I'm face to face with—Oh, good lord.
"Jonah...wow."
Fuck.
My ex-boyfriend smiles brightly, and a corner of his mouth quirks up as his eyes give me a swift assessment.
I'm dressed in what I would consider normal Libby day wear: a cropped semi-see-through shirt to show off my pink couture bra and a leather mini skirt finished off with a fun heeled knee-high boot. Simple. Cute.
But under the pastoral gaze of the man in front of me, I may as well be naked.
"Excuse me, ma'am, is this yours?" I turn my attention away from the dark-haired devil to a sweet-faced woman in a billowy white sundress holding up my phone with the dick pic on full display.
Jonah's eyes take in the picture on the phone just as I snatch it from the clueless woman's hand and stuff it right back into my pocket. "Thank you." I nod at her before turning to bolt.
I hear the woman say to Jonah, "Aren't you going to introduce us?"
"Wait, Libby. I...want you to meet my fiancee," Jonah calls back to me.
I breathe in a quick gush of air before returning to the ideal couple with their flowy dresses and ironed slacks.
"This is Lillian," he says hesitantly.
Turning on my heel, I give the woman my hand. "So sorry, where are my manners? Hi, Lillian. I’m—“
"Libby," Lillian says. "Yes, I've...heard about you." She sounds almost suspicious of me.
My eyes shoot to Jonah, who slips his arm over her shoulders as she drops her hand from our handshake. His expression isn't giving anything away.
"Have you now?" I say, still looking at Jonah and failing miserably to hold back my glare.
"Yes, when Jonah and I first started dating...gosh...how long ago was that, honey?" She looks up at Jonah.
"Uh...what, like, seven or eight years ago?" he offers, scratching the hairs on his jaw.
Jeez. Seven or eight years and he still hasn’t tied the knot?
"Well, he told me all about your summer of...fun."
Okay. It's awkward enough to run into an ex I'd really rather never see again in my life. But now I have to meet his soon-to-be wife, who clearly has me pegged as her man’s ex-hussy.