Page 34 of Offensive Plays
"Okay...what else?"
"He's kind with a dangerous side. Keeps me on my toes."
"So far I'm getting Arnold Schwarzenegger in his sixties meets Groot."
A grin stretches across her face.
"I'm not opposed to either, if I'm being honest."
"You're weird," I tell her.
"Kinky and weird are two different things," she states.
"And are you?...Kinky?" Of course, I already know the answer to this. I just want to hear her admit it.
"That's not something you'd need to concern yourself with, Fergie."
And shot down.
"So let's just get this straight. Your ideal guy is a muscular man or tree who treats people with respect but would get into a fight if necessary. Am I getting that right?"
"Pretty much."
"Sounds like your perfect match would be a hockey player."
She nearly does a spit-take right at me.
"Absolutely not," she says with a chuckle.
"Why not?"
"Are you offering?"
"To what?"
"To date me?"
"You're the one that paid 25k to go on a date with me, remember?"
She lifts a brow.
"I spend enough time at hockey games, as is. I'd hate to have to be around it 24/7. It loses its charm. Trust me, been there done that when I was dragged to Zane's every practice as a kid. No thanks."
"WAGS don't need to be at practices."
"Are you trying to convince me?"
"I'm playing devil's advocate."
"The devil in this scenario being...."
"Hockey players."
"Which I don't date."
"Yes, you've made that abundantly clear."
"Good," she says with finality. "Now, what about you?"