Page 34 of Offensive Plays

"Okay...what else?"

"He's kind with a dangerous side. Keeps me on my toes."

"So far I'm getting Arnold Schwarzenegger in his sixties meets Groot."

A grin stretches across her face.

"I'm not opposed to either, if I'm being honest."

"You're weird," I tell her.

"Kinky and weird are two different things," she states.

"And are you?...Kinky?" Of course, I already know the answer to this. I just want to hear her admit it.

"That's not something you'd need to concern yourself with, Fergie."

And shot down.

"So let's just get this straight. Your ideal guy is a muscular man or tree who treats people with respect but would get into a fight if necessary. Am I getting that right?"

"Pretty much."

"Sounds like your perfect match would be a hockey player."

She nearly does a spit-take right at me.

"Absolutely not," she says with a chuckle.

"Why not?"

"Are you offering?"

"To what?"

"To date me?"

"You're the one that paid 25k to go on a date with me, remember?"

She lifts a brow.

"I spend enough time at hockey games, as is. I'd hate to have to be around it 24/7. It loses its charm. Trust me, been there done that when I was dragged to Zane's every practice as a kid. No thanks."

"WAGS don't need to be at practices."

"Are you trying to convince me?"

"I'm playing devil's advocate."

"The devil in this scenario being...."

"Hockey players."

"Which I don't date."

"Yes, you've made that abundantly clear."

"Good," she says with finality. "Now, what about you?"