Page 79 of It Destroys Me

His eyes moved down. “I’ll never get over that.”

“I don’t blame you.”

He stared down at his hands for a while. “How are you?”

“Me?” I asked incredulously. “Who gives a fuck about me.”

“I do.” He lifted his head and met my gaze. “What happened with Astrid?”

“I already told you?—”

“And it made no sense.” He straightened in his chair. “She looked me in the face and told me how much she loves you. That she’d die if you died. You’re gonna bullshit me right now and say she just decided to be with that freak after everything you’ve been through? Your story is complete bullshit, Theo. So what the fuck actually happened?”

I sank into my chair and looked away.

He continued to stare me down with those furious blue eyes. “Theo.”

“It’s best if you don’t know.”

“Okay, now you’re just making it worse.”

“Trust me on this, Axel.”

He stared for a long time, like he was contemplating the advice. But in the end, he ignored it. “I want to know the truth—and you’re going to tell me.”

I gave a quiet sigh in frustration.

“Well?” He straightened in the chair again.

I didn’t want to tell him, but he would pester me until I cracked like a walnut under a boot. “She’s smart. Knew he was going to kill me right in front of her. So she did the only thing she could to keep me alive, convince him that she was willing to work on their marriage. But only if he let me go.” I left out the details of the kiss, but I wanted to pretend that never happened. It meant nothing to her, but it still hurt like hell.

Axel examined me with a curtain of confusion across his eyes. “That was weeks ago! You’ve just been sitting on your ass ever since? She’s stuck with some psychopath, and you’re just staring at some ugly-ass paintings?”

I looked away, choosing to stare at one of those paintings instead of him.

“What the fuck, man?”

“There’s nothing I can do.”

“No one can hide forever. He’s somewhere, and you’ll figure it out?—”

“He said if I try, he’ll kill your kids.” It hurt to say it out loud, to say something so fucking indescribable. “And I know he means it.” I didn’t look at Axel because I couldn’t tolerate his reaction. “I can’t risk that. If I could talk to Astrid, I know she would say the same thing.” She would rather live a miserable life than let an innocent child be killed. I kept my eyes on the painting because I wasn’t man enough to look at him.

The silence stretched for a while.

It went on for so long, it was easy to forget that Axel was there. If I focused on the painting long enough, I felt like I was the only person in the room.

Axel eventually found his voice. “That asshole came into my house and took my wife.” He deepened his voice instead of raising it, the fury packed deep inside. “And put a gun to my little girl’s head. I’m not going to let that go.”

I turned to look at him.

“Ever.”

“I understand your anger?—”

“No, you don’t,” he said quietly. “I want my gun against his temple. And I want his brains on my clothes after I pull the trigger.”

“Axel.” I understood his rage. I understood the desire for bloodshed. But he wasn’t thinking clearly. “It’s over now. Bolton’s gone, and your family is safe. Be at peace.”