Page 57 of It Destroys Me
“You think anyone is gonna follow me in this?” Axel asked, snorting in disbelief. “I’ll abandon the car a couple blocks over, and we’ll walk. No one will have a clue.”
Theo looked annoyed, but he didn’t argue further. He looked at me next. “You ready, sweetheart?”
Was I ready to leave him and potentially never see him again? No.
Axel looked away and scrolled on his phone in an attempt to give us privacy.
Theo continued to stare at me. “We need to make this quick. Just in case someone’s watching.”
“I’m just supposed to say good luck and leave you?” I asked incredulously.
He continued his hard stare. “I don’t like this either.”
“I’m scared.”
“Axel will protect you?—”
“It’s not me that I’m worried about,” I snapped. “I don’t want you to die because of me.” Because I made the biggest mistake of my life when I married a jackass.
“We already had beef,” he said. “This showdown is inevitable. Now I just have another reason.” His gaze looked less hard when he looked at me like that, like I was a garden on a spring day, like I was a bunny that snuck inside to eat his carrots.
Axel hit the button and rolled up his window so he wouldn’t be able to hear us anymore. “I’ll let you know as soon as it’s done. And if I don’t come back?—”
“Don’t.” That was a conversation I simply couldn’t have. I looked away and stared at the dashboard because his eyes weren’t enough to soothe me. “There’s no fucking way I’m doing that.”
He let the subject drop and moved his hand to mine. It was twice the size of my palm with long fingers, and he grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”
I stared at his hand on mine, the cords and the ink visible on the skin. My fingers gripped him back because I didn’t want to let go. Tears burned behind my eyes and wanted to break free, but I fought like a commander holding back the enemy. It was time for me to leave, but once I released his hand, I may never get it back again.
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it, the coarse hair from his scruff sharp enough to scratch me, the way it scratched the insides of my thighs. Then he leaned across the car, his elbow on the center console, and kissed me. A slow kiss…a sad one…a final one.
His kisses always made me melt, but not this time. This time, it made me miss what I hadn’t yet lost. It made me say goodbye when I wasn’t ready to leave. It reminded me that I had what I always should have had, and it might be gone by tomorrow morning. It took all my strength to open the door and leave him.
Took all my strength not to look back.
We ditched the car and walked to Axel’s villa, entering his property through a back doorway from the alleyway. We crossed the grounds then entered through a side door connected to a patio. Once we were inside the house, Axel walked me upstairs to the second landing. “Scarlett and the kids are asleep.”
It was past eleven, so that didn’t surprise me. “That’s okay.”
“She’s happy you’re here, though.” He opened the guest bedroom door and let me walk inside. “Aldo knows you’re here. Let him know if you need anything.”
It was a room with a queen-sized bed and a small sitting area. It was nice enough to be a room in a hotel, but it felt empty and cold without Theo. “Thank you.” I saw my bag on the couch but didn’t reach for it.
Axel took off his cap before he ran his fingers through his flat hair. “You can let me know if you need anything too. You have my number.”
I sat on the couch, the only light in the room coming from the lamp on one of the nightstands. “Thanks, Axel.”
He lingered in the doorway as he held the cap at his side. “Would it make you feel better if I told you I’m not worried?”
I shook my head.
“You haven’t seen what Theo’s capable of. He wouldn’t be the Skull King if he weren’t the most ruthless son of a bitch there ever was. But I won’t tell you the details, because I want you to still like him.”
“I don’t like him,” I said. “I love that man…with all my heart.” The tears that I’d suppressed in front of Theo came out and streaked down my cheeks like rivers from a hot spring. “If I lose him…I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Axel watched me cry from the doorway, immobile like he didn’t know what to do or how to comfort me. He eventually came forward and tossed his hat on the coffee table. He was about to take the seat beside me when he chose the armchair instead. “I told Theo I would take care of you. Just the way he would take care of my wife if something happened to me.”
I gave a loud sniff as I tried to suck everything back in. “I don’t care what happens to me.” Whether Bolton took me again or I ran to another country to start over, it didn’t make a difference. “I just can’t live without him.” Even if Theo killed Bolton and I was a free woman, I wouldn’t want anyone else. I wouldn’t want to start over. I wouldn’t want to go on dates with men who looked like boys in comparison. “He lost his wife, and my husband was a fucking mistake. We’re supposed to be together.” I didn’t believe in destiny or soul mates or any of that stuff. But I believed in us.