Page 31 of It Destroys Me
He didn’t answer.
I continued to look at the menu, settled on the risotto, and then placed my menu aside.
He was exactly where I left him, still as a statue with eyes that could see into the underworld.
The waitress returned with our wine and asked what he wanted.
When he didn’t reach for the menu or look flustered, I asked, “Are you ready?”
He turned to the waitress. “I’ll take a steak. Medium rare.”
“Do you want potatoes or rice?” she asked.
“Surprise me.”
She seemed put off by his coldness because she didn’t smile. She took my order then walked away.
He broke his stare and took a drink of wine.
I did the same, needing the booze to take the edge off. My muscles were so tight they might split in half. If he already wanted me this much over dinner, then he would be really pleased by the outfit I wore underneath. “How was your day?”
“It was fine. Yours?”
“I sold a painting. A big one.”
“Big in size or big in price?”
“Both.”
He gave a slight nod. “Have you considered painting again?”
Of course he brought that up. Like always. “Honestly, life has been pretty hectic.”
“I can have your supplies placed in your room.”
“You—you still have everything?”
His eyes locked on mine once again, the way people appreciated a full moon or a falling star. “Yes.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t throw them away.”
“I would never throw away art.”
My eyes softened when I wished they wouldn’t. I didn’t want to accept praise I didn’t deserve. I didn’t want him to treasure something that wasn’t worth being treasured. But now I knew his words weren’t just words, because he had kept it. “You’re too much.”
He continued to watch me.
“You could have any woman you want, but you’re here with me. I don’t get it.”
“I do.” He said it with the same confidence in his eyes that he always possessed. His sincerity rang with truth. It wasn’t a line to get me into bed because he already had me in his bed. He’d become the bulletproof vest that protected me from the weapons of my enemies.
“That’s sweet of you to say.” He’d been my provider and my protector since the moment I laid eyes on him. He changed my tire in the rain. My phone was dead, so I couldn’t call Bolton even if I wanted. When I turned my back on Theo and my world went to shit, he broke down the door and came to my rescue. His affection for me almost felt…unconditional. I would never feel good enough for him.
He continued his hard stare, continued to burn holes into my face with the sharpness of his gaze. Looked at me like he hadn’t already looked at me a hundred times. And then his eyes flicked away, and the connection was severed like a knife through a taut string. “There’s something I need to say to you.”
Our moment was so heated and intense, and then it just evaporated. Changed within the blink of an eye. It’d been so overwhelming that I could barely withstand it, and now I missed it with every fiber of my being.
Because I knew whatever he was about to say wouldn’t be good. “I’m listening.”