Page 225 of The Pucking Coach's Daughter
“Is his brother buried in the woods?” I ask. I had guessed earlier.
They all exchange a glance, then shake their heads. “Not yet. He’s in a barrel…” Carter frowns. “You look green. Do you want to go home?”
“Is he walking out of here?” I motion to Bear.
“No,” they all say.
“Then, yeah, I want to go home.”
I look to Oliver, whose skin tone has paled dramatically. I feel the same, my stomach twisting like I’m going to heave at any second. I can’t take the smell of this room—the sweat, the blood. There’s a wet spot between Bear’s legs that grows by the second, the scent of urine overpowering everything else.
I cover my nose and mouth. “Take me, Oliver?”
seventy
sydney
Six Weeks Later
SJU and FSU rematch.
Oliver’s first game back.
Am I worried?
I’d be fucking lying if I said no. I watched him wrap his ribs in the locker room—before my father came in and promptly kicked me out—and hovered outside. Even when Penn insisted that he was fine. That a doctor cleared him, that he’s fine… Excuses.
I’m allowed to worry.
Most of my classes allowed me to make up assignments I missed while out. In the extreme, this meant I’ve been buried under the rubble of papers, presentations, and assignments since I went back to school.
We haven’t talked about Bear or his brother. It’s like he ceased to exist once we left that warehouse. I consider, from time to time, talking about it with the therapist I started seeing. I’ve told her in more vague terms about my trauma, but so far, our focus has been my mother.
Oliver drove me home and stayed with me, and, well, I think Penn and Carter took care of Bear and his brother in a way I don’t want to think about. Whether they buried him or dissolved him in a barrel of acid or cut him up into little pieces and dropped him in the lake…
I’m better off not knowing.
Which brings me to my mother.
Yesterday, the police concluded their investigation of her death. The coroner determined it was accidental, that she must’ve gotten high and wandered into the woods, gotten lost, and died from the elements.
We’re also not considering how close she was to FSU… how close she was to coming back to me. She knew I was here. Even though she left Emerald Cove, she was found here. So close and so far away.
She was cremated, and my dad has her ashes at his house. We’re going to hold some memorial over winter break, although I’m not sure anyone except immediate family will show up. And by that I mean me, Dad. Perri, and maybe the guys.
We didn’t have anyone else.
“There you are!” Maddy drops into the seat next to me. “How long have you been sitting here?”
I shake my head. With her are Brandon and Dylan. Things haven’t been the same between Brandon and me since my spiral and how he handled it. Maddy later admitted that she came and banged on my door, but it was locked and I never answered. It’s unclear whether Brandon knew that, though, when he sent the nasty texts.
They sit on Maddy’s other side.
Beyond them, Andi is on her way to a seat in the adjacent section. Her gaze meets mine for a moment, and she seems more visibly spooked than I’ve ever seen her. She turns and hurries away without a word.
The guys are already on the ice, warming up, and my attention switches between Oliver and Penn on one side to Carter on the other.
Today, I wear neutral colors. A cream sweater and jeans, my black jacket over it. I’m purposefully not picking sides.