Page 218 of The Pucking Coach's Daughter

“You look like a distressed ball of anxiety,” he points out. “And I was counting on a few more hours before you got here, so…?”

Ugh.

“Penn told Syd he loves her.”

Carter’s eyes widen slightly. But then he nods and refocuses on the screen.

“She said it back,” I add.

He exhales. “I mean, we saw it coming. You love her, too, don’t you?”

I open and close my mouth.

Do I?

I mean…

“We’re in the same boat, then. Hopelessly in love and unable to do anything about it. She’s going to pick Penn. If she loves him, she’ll pick him.”

We didn’t tell him about her question. And now, suddenly faced with the idea of letting him believe it’s pointless or not, my stomach churns.

Who would’ve ever thought I’d be friends with the captain of the St. James hockey team? And not just friends, but… willing to share my girl with him? It’s laughable.

And yet.

“She doesn’t want to pick,” I say. “She’s been saying it.”

“And you believe her?” His tone is hard. He’s not focused on me, and it’s out of character for him to give up.

I eye him. “You don’t?”

He dusts off his thighs and stands. “As much as I’d love to believe in a happy ever foursome, I just… it seems unrealistic.”

“So?” I laugh. “Who the fuck cares about unrealistic?

His expression changes into something… hesitant? I’ll say it again: who the fuck thought I’d be having this conversation with Carter Masters?

“Get the girl,” I continue. “Keep the girl. I’m the last person who wants to share her, asshole, but you’re right—I fell in love with her. And I’d do anything to keep her and make her happy. And if she says she doesn’t want to pick between us, if she wants it to work as some… foursome? I’ll try it. I’d do anything for her.”

It takes saying it out loud to realize it’s true.

He considers it, then glances back at Bear.

“You got him?” he asks. “You… You said it, right? Get the girl, keep the girl. Shit. I’ve been here, barely spending any time with her in the hospital. I can’t let her think?—”

“Go,” I urge.

He hurries past me. It isn’t until the door closes with a soft snick behind me that I allow my expression to drop. Things are different for them. Penn and her overcame his deception. Carter… well, his only crime was stalking her from afar.

I broke her, which means there’s no hope for us. For me.

If I was in his position, I’d be running to her, too. If there was a chance for us—but I destroyed it. And I have to live with the consequences.

sixty-eight

sydney

I don’t think I’ve been warm in a week.