Page 74 of It Must Be Love

"I can afford the suite, and we won't be talking about money," he said calmly.

What the…? How did he know what I was thinking?

"I'm not like your other girlfriends. I don't want you spending money on me."

He grinned. "So, you're a girlfriend now? How presumptuous of you?"

I slapped my hand on my mouth in shock. I couldn't believe I'd just said that. I wasn't his girlfriend or anything. I was just trying to lose my virginity…right?

He gave me a hug and held me. "Sweetheart, I'd like to have a relationship where we don't talk about money. Please? I'm so fucking tired of it."

The pleading in his voice made me relax.

"And, yeah, we're doing this. We're trying to have a relationship. We like each other. We have fun. I want to fuck your brains out. So, let's just call me your boyfriend and be done with it." he continued.

I burrowed into him. I was going to get seriously hurt, but the temptation of being intimate with Amias was too much for me to resist. My desire for him was bigger than my fear. This was the man I'd been lusting after since I turned sixteen. It was like having sex with your celebrity crush.

He kissed my forehead and took the overnight bag into the bathroom.

I looked around the suite, which was a haven of warmth, its walls painted in soft, earthy tones that complemented the rich wooden beams overhead. A large, wrought-iron bed dominated the space, its fluffy down comforter and pile of pillows inviting us to sink into its depths. Beside it, a small, crackling fireplace added to the room's cozy ambiance, casting flickering shadows across the antique furnishings that adorned the space.

What truly caught my breath, however, was the attention to detail—the way the curtains draped just so, the vintage lamps that offered a soft glow, and the small vase of fresh winter flowers on the bedside table, their colors a delicate contrast to the snow outside. It felt as if I had stepped into a different time, one that moved slower, allowing for moments to be savored and cherished.

I removed my boots and sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace. My apartment didn't have one. My father's house had, but there was something wrong with the chimney, so we never used it.

I tucked my feet under me and just let go of everything inside my head. The worries, the fears, the insecurities. I'd give them all up for a night where I could be who I thought I would be, who I would’ve been before the accident upended my life.

Amias was right. I had never looked at my scars as a badge of honor. Maybe I should. I'd lived through painful skin graft and surgery. I'd gone through months of physiotherapy. I'd disciplined my body with Krav Maga to make it strong. I'd gone to university, gotten a degree, and built a decent career.

After Amias and I ended, I promised myself I wouldn't shut myself off as I had last time. I'd go on dates. Men who had a problem with my journey wouldn't be missed. If there was someone like Amias who truly wasn't repulsed by my skin, maybe there would be others. Maybe…I could meet someone with whom I could have children and build a life.

But I wouldn't worry about that now. I would enjoy my time with Amias, however fleeting it might be. I'd embrace it head-on. I deserved it. I'd earned it.

"And what are you thinking now?" Amias asked as I watched the flames.

I held my hand out to him. "I was thinking that I want to enjoy my time here with you."

He took my hand and kissed it once he sat next to me. He smiled at me. "You like the fireplace?"

"Yeah. I don't have one. I like it."

"I have a few in my apartment. We'll make sure you have a lot of face time with them."

Yeah, right, like we'd last long enough for me to enjoy his apartment.

No, no, Naya, no negativity. Live in the moment. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is not here. Right now, that is all there is.

He nuzzled my neck, slowly kissing up until he came to my jaw and then proceeded to my mouth. "I've never made love with a virgin," he admitted.

"I can't help you with that. I've never had sex, period."

Something darkened in his eyes, and his jaw tightened. Did he mind that I was inexperienced? He must. He was used to women like Ann, who probably knew how to take what she wanted in bed and give what her lover demanded.

I'd thought a lot about blowjobs and if I could give one. It looked easy enough, but somehow, I was certain it only looked like that because the women on Pornhub had probably done it for ten thousand hours and become experts.

"Where's your head at now?" Amias demanded.

"Do you mind that I won't know what I'm doing?"