Page 63 of It Must Be Love
"She what?" I insisted.
"She didn't want Nolan to come around much and after her comment about how no one would ever date me, Daddy and I were sort of glad they didn't come around often. I started Krav Maga and met Darren. That was an amazing help. I healed inside and out. Then I went back to university; I'd deferred for a year."
Listening to her, I felt a mix of admiration and heartache. Admiration for the woman who faced such adversity and emerged strong, compassionate, and resilient. Heartache for the unimaginable pain she must have endured, alone in the dark, burning.
"I learned a lot about myself in that time," she continued, her voice gaining strength. "About strength. It changed me, made me realize what's truly important in life."
"And what's that?" I asked, kissing her cheek.
"Being true to myself. Not changing who I am because someone does something to me or something happens to me. I'd been so angry right after the accident, but it wasn't helping me. I wasn't an angry person in general, mostly content, and I fought to not let what happened to me define me or change me. It took work, but…I feel like I'm living my life the way I want, even if Darren doesn't think so."
I stroked the skin on her back again, feeling her spirit, her strength, her toughness. "What does Darren think?"
"That I should give Nolan a piece of my mind, not let you walk all over me at work, ask Kara to go fuck herself, and get laid."
I laughed. "I can help you with all those things, baby, if you let me."
She stilled and then as if making a decision, said, "Can I ask you a question? Actually, two questions?"
"Yes."
She sat up and then looked at her naked boobs and tried to cover herself. "Oh no, don't take my nice view away. You have very, very nice breasts."
"They have some scarring, not a lot but—"
"Sweetheart, I have no problem with your scars. They don't disgust me or horrify me. They hurt me because it means you were hurt. But I'm also glad for them because it means you healed. You didn't die in that accident. It means you're here with me, because I could've lost you and never even have known how great a loss it was."
She didn't look happy about what I said. Instead, she looked downright frightened. Her eyes went straight down to her lap, and when she saw she was naked, she pulled a blanket from the foot of the bed.
"Cold? We can get under the duvet?" I suggested.
It wasn't cold, she kept her place warm.
"I just don't want to sit here naked. You're wearing your boxers." I'd put them on when I'd come back to bed from the bathroom, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
"I can take them off," I offered.
She laughed, and I loved that sound. I wanted her to laugh more, a whole lot more. I'd make it my life's mission.
Whoa! Amias, your life's mission? Asshole, you haven't even fucked this woman, and you're thinking of a whole life? Fuck me! I was, wasn't I? Where had this come from? Had it always been there inside me waiting to be let free, and now that I was here with her, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else?
"You said you had questions for me." I rested my back against the headboard and waited.
"Should we do this over dessert?" she asked cautiously.
"No. Now."
"Ah…that day when Mila and I walked into your office, you were…ah…."
"Kissing Ann?"
She nodded.
"Yeah, and?"
"She came out and told us how you were getting engaged. I…she made it sound like you were both in agreement, and then you told me you broke up. So…are you on a break, and you'll get back together again? Or…."
"Or am I here making time with you while I'm taking a break from Ann, and when I've had enough of you, I'll go back to her?" I couldn't keep the hardness out of my voice. She had a very low opinion of me.