Page 60 of Close Your Eyes

Bane says something witty, and then we’re off to meet another couple. After a while, all the faces blur together as Bane parades me around the party. Like I’m some trophy on his arm.

Which I guess I kind of am.

I haven’t seen Ledger in over thirty minutes, and a small part of me thinks he’s left. Doesn’t matter, because my eyes still search for him every chance I get.

When he kissed me in my room, I couldn’t not kiss him back. There was no way I could deny him anything. Even giving me an orgasm.

It nearly makes me burst into a million tiny pieces thinking about what a mess I’ve made of my life.

Soon the party winds down, and Bane’s left me alone to head off to bed while he goes and smokes cigars with those closest to him. I make my quick getaway, Ledger fresh on my mind.

I lock my door, and change into my night clothes. I gaze out the window, wishing Ledger were here with me. How am I supposed to marry Bane and lust after another man? It’s sinful. It’s completely insane, yet I can’t stop myself from thinking about him.

I get ready for bed, and once I slide under the covers, I flip my pillow, fluffing it so I can try to sleep. There’s a pink post-it note under there, and written on it is,

I know you don’t love him.

He doesn’t even have to sign his name for me to know who wrote this. I grab my phone from the nightstand and send him off a message.

I don’t love him.

His response is immediate.

Then tell me why you’re marrying him.

Tears fall, racing down my cheeks.

Because.

I deserve a real answer. I’m going insane. I can’t eat. I can’t think. I want to be with you. So, please tell me why.

I’ve done this to him. I’ve caused Ledger to go crazy, and it crushes me. It makes my heart nearly split in two, and I don’t know what to do about it. I wish I could stop this wedding. I wish I could call it off, but I can’t.

Even if I had the money to pay off my father’s debt, it would be no use. Bane no longer cares about the money. He cares about his reputation. How he’s viewed in the public eye, and if his fiancée were to call off the wedding, it wouldn’t look too good.

There’s no way out. In a few days time, I’ll be Mrs. Bane Delgado, and I will give the one man who scares the living shit out of me the one thing I can—my virginity.

I tap at my screen, answering Ledger, knowing what I need to do.

I’m marrying Bane. What we have isn’t real. Now please, don’t ever call me again.

And then I shut off my phone, and bury my face into my pillow and cry myself to sleep. The next morning I wake up to sunlight streaming in through the windows. I open my eyes, trying my best to push away the sadness I still feel.

As I get ready for the day, there's constant chatter coming from downstairs. I hurry down the staircase to find Bridgette along with a few other people I’ve never seen before.

“You’re finally awake,” Bridgette says, and I stifle a yawn.

“What are you doing?” I ask her.

Bridgette looks at me like I’ve grown another head. “Your wedding is in a few days. There’s a lot to do.” She snaps her fingers at one of the women at her side. “Fawna, get a list of vendors.”

“You need to find your dress,” a short, bald-haired man says to me. “I’m Eduardo, and I’m here to help you.”

“I thought I had picked a dress,” I say to Bridgette as Eduardo pulls out a tape measure.

“Bane didn’t approve of it. He wants you in something more…” her words fall away as she just gawks at me like I could never wear anything worthy enough for Bane.

“I’m on it,” Eduardo cuts her off, and then grabs my hand to lead me down the hallway and toward the den.