Page 23 of Close Your Eyes

It’s late, and as I toss and turn in my bed, I find zero comfort. Why hasn’t Ledger answered? I sent him the text hours ago, and all day I’ve been checking my phone, unable to think straight. The only thought on my mind is him.

As I glance at my phone, a text comes through.

I feel alone most days, even though I’m surrounded by people.

He must be at work, surrounded by beautiful women who are constantly throwing themselves at him. I can’t say the thought of it doesn’t piss me off because it does. I wonder how many times he’s taken the women up on their offers. Even though he says he doesn’t. Could he just be telling me that?

Why would he lie about it?

Ledger doesn’t owe me anything. He has no reason to lie to me. As far as he knows, I’m happily in love with Bane. Ha.

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

What do you do when you feel that way?

His response is immediate.

Where are you right now? It’s late.

I’m in bed.

Under the covers? I mean this in the least creepy way, but what are you wearing? I need the full picture painted for me so I can get the image in my head.

I suck in a deep breath. He wants to visualize me right now, and there’s something intimate about the whole thing.

Under the covers. In my sleep shorts and tank top. Lights are out.

I’m guessing Bane isn’t sleeping right beside you.

He stays in his room. We won’t sleep together until we’re married.

I cringe after sending the last reply, not wanting to bring Bane into my personal space. Into this intimate area with Ledger. This is just me and him. My secret. I don’t want to share with anyone else.

Ledger doesn’t respond right away, and I wonder if I’ve pissed him off by mentioning Bane. Finally, he replies.

Is that why you’re lonely?

My heart skips a literal beat, and I breathe in through my nose. I don’t know why, but I don’t want him thinking I’m lonely because Bane isn’t asleep next to me.

I’m a horrible person, but I can’t tell him the truth. That I’m only marrying Bane to pay a debt my father owes.

So, I change the subject and deflect, which is something I’m good at.

I need the visual of you. Where are you? What are you wearing? Lights on or off?

I’m in my office at the club. Suit. Lights on. Has anyone ever told you that you’re sort of bossy?

I laugh.

Yes, my father calls me bossy all the time. Isn’t it weird to think that people are having sex right now in your club?

I don’t think it’s weird. Do you think it’s weird?

Sort of weird.

Why? Sex is just a release for some. It’s a way to blow off steam after a stressful day. Sex can also be an intimate way for two people to get to know each other better.

I wouldn’t know. I’m a virgin.