Page 72 of The Accidental Dating Experiment

Please say yes.

“Definitely.” But he waves a hand. “I’ll get it on Saturday with Katya. All good. She loves that store.”

“Yeah, me too,” I say fondly, annoyance replaced by wistfulness as I glance at Monroe.

He meets my gaze straight on. “Same here,” he says in a tone that’s not at all unreadable. It’s one hundred percent tinged with romance, so much it makes my chest ache.

I do leave this time, heading for the bedroom, where I shut the door and exhale heavily. Time is running out for us, and my irritation isn’t truly about the sex I didn’t have. I just wanted more time alone with Monroe.

But what’s the point? We’re not going to have alone time after this weekend, so I should get used to it.

After I wash my face and slip into jammies, I grab my phone, then text the girlies, asking if they want to get ready together for the party on Saturday.

That’s only two days from now.

They say yes, then I turn to a self-improvement podcast, but it doesn’t improve my mood about the clock winding down.

26

THE TRIPLE CHALLENGE

Monroe

Sawyer’s a relentless competitor. He also adores his sister, so even if clamjam isn’t a Merriam-Webster word, he leaves it on the board without protest.

“It’s a challenge,” Sawyer explains when she’s gone. Ever the gamer, he attacks the board like a word warrior.

Me? I’ve got another challenge—getting to Juliet soon. Make that a double challenge since there’s a curl of guilt in my gut. I’m sitting here drinking beer and playing a word game with my longtime college friend, all while lusting after his little sister.

It’s more than lust, you dipshit.

The guilt tunnels deeper into me. If I were my client, how would I handle this?

As I pick up tiles, trying to assemble vexing words for the game, I keep turning over the issue. Guilt doesn’t always need to be absolved. Sometimes, you have to live with it—like when a confession will only hurt the other person. But keeping this secret doesn’t protect Sawyer. It protects me and keeps him unfairly in the dark. The kind of unfair that makes someone feel stupid or foolish if/when they learn the truth. I don’t want that for my friend.

Guilt’s not the only emotion taking up real estate in my ticker. There’s something else jostling for space. It’s the wish to declare this feeling. To name it. To acknowledge it to Sawyer.

Trouble is, it’s not just my story to tell. I can’t violate Juliet’s privacy to ease my own mind.

So, I set the feeling aside, playing apex.

Sawyer sets down his beer, rubs his palms, and plays ex.

Damn. “Left my X open,” I say, shaking my head at my gaffe.

“You did, and I appreciate it,” he says.

I flip him the bird, and we play ferociously for twenty more minutes until I notice him yawning. Actually…has he been plagued by yawns for a while now?

He’s only had one beer, so I’m not worried about him driving under the influence. I am worried about how tired he is even as he studies the board like an eagle.

Finally, he plays the word my off of clamjam, finishing the game. Getting to his feet, he unleashes another yawn as he says, “Pay up.”

That’s decided. “You need to stay here, buddy.”

“Nah,” he says, shaking his head.

“Yes. You do. It’s not optional.”