Page 79 of One Kiss Isn't Enough
Addison
He’s supposed to be the strong one.
The man is supposed to be the rock. That’s what the world leads you to believe, but I think it’s bullshit. Why else would I feel more complete, more grounded when I’m trying to hold Daniel together?
Aria and Chloe put a Band-Aid over my pain. They make me forget temporarily, and that’s worth something. They make me feel like it’s normal to be down right now, and that’s worth even more.
But holding on to Daniel, holding him together, that feels like purpose. It feels like belonging and worthiness. One small touch, and it’s like the pieces have been soldered back together, making them stronger than they ever were before.
Even if it is just holding his hand and smiling with his family, my family.
“Where’s Bethany?” Aria asks and my eyes dart to hers although she’s slipping her fork into her mouth with her focus on Jase. I know she’s asking for my benefit though.
“She couldn’t come tonight, but she’ll be here tomorrow. She’s getting some things adjusted.”
“Adjusted?”
“She went through a hard time.”
His answer quiets the room for a moment until I speak up. “I’d like to meet her.”
Daniel’s hand shifts under mine until the back of it is to the table and his palm is against mine.
“I bet you would,” Carter comments with the hint of a smile.
“You’ll like her,” Jase says after a quick drink from his tumbler. The ice clinks as he sets it down on the table. “I don’t know anything about what Walsh said, but she may know. If not, you’ll still find plenty to talk about.”
“Walsh.” I roll my eyes as I say his name and take a sip of wine as I feel everyone’s eyes on me. The nervousness in the room creeps up a notch. The dark red is sweet, with a hint of lingering decadence. I bring my gaze to Carter’s at the head of the table and tell him simply, “He doesn’t like me much, I don’t think.”
“He doesn’t like me much either.” Jase’s response comes with a huff of a laugh from Sebastian as he sits back into his chair with ease, resting an arm over Chloe’s chair behind her shoulders.
“He has poor taste then,” I offer Jase and that gets me a small laugh from Chloe and her husband. Daniel only observes and half of all my senses are focused on him, focused on me. Everyone’s waiting to see if I’m going to break down again. I can feel it. They’re waiting to see if I’m okay. And I’m not, I know I’m not. But isn’t it okay if I’m not all right?
It sounds like a paradox, but I think it’s more real than anything.
Carter takes a deep breath, then says, “He’s not going anywhere soon, but he’ll get on board. Or I’ll take care of it.” His darkly spoken words are overshadowed by Jase’s.
“He will,” Jase adds and then tells me he’s sorry that I felt uncomfortable yesterday. That it never should have happened. He tells me he’d never let anything happen to me. None of them would.
They say we’re family, and I know we are.
There’s a pit in my gut though when Aria speaks. “Don’t worry, Addie, we’re in this together.”
“Right,” I say and nod in agreement, then thank God when I bring the glass up to finish the small pool of wine in it when she tells me, “Nothing bad can happen if we’re in it together.”
The glass hides my immediate reaction.
I don’t know why she says it when she knows that’s not true. Bad things happen regardless. Bad things have already happened.
When I set my glass down, I smile at her instead of saying just that. The words still exist though. I can feel them in the tense air. I think everyone can.
Until Chloe stands up abruptly and remembers the cheesecake. She’s sweet enough to bring the rest of the bottle in for me too.
“I can’t get tipsy with both of you out of commission,” I tell her, not wanting to keep drinking in front of them.
“Please, have a glass for me,” Aria requests with a yawn.
“I already did,” I remind her. The wine was her idea, and not a bad one.