Page 58 of It Hurts Me
“Yes.” My eyes were still focused on her face, her high cheekbones, her full lips. She was a painter, but she could easily be the subject of any masterpiece. I could picture her in a painting, her naked body wrapped up in cream-colored sheets, looking out the window as the sun poked through the rain clouds.
“Has…your size been an issue before?”
“My size?” My thoughts were elsewhere, imagining that painting on my wall in my study, her beauty replacing the haunting imaging of the changeling.
“You know…” She glanced down to the sheets at my waist.
It took me a moment to understand. “It’s not for everyone.”
“So, it’s affected your relationships?”
“I would say it’s affected my fees.” I’d only been in one relationship my whole life, and she’d handled it like a pro.
“Your fees?”
“What escorts charge me.”
She gave a slow nod. “Aren’t those women professionals?”
“Yes. But depending on what I want, they need to be fairly compensated.” I had more money than I could spend, so I didn’t care about the price. Perhaps that was why I was a popular client. I’d heard through the grapevine that some of the escorts fought over who got to service me if one of my preferred escorts was unavailable.
“Like what?”
“Well, I like to fuck a woman in the ass. That’s a big ask in my circumstance.”
The discomfort was in her eyes, so my choice of partners still bothered her. She did her best to hide it, but I knew her tells too well now. “I see.” Her eyes traveled slightly down, looking at my chest instead of my eyes, her thoughts drifting elsewhere.
“I’d love to fuck you in the ass.”
Her eyes immediately shot back to mine.
“If you’re into that.”
“I-I don’t think I am.”
“It sounds like you’ve never done it.”
The hesitation remained in her eyes. “No. It’s never come up.”
“Good to know.”
Her eyes were on mine, like she wanted to say something, but she chose to keep it to herself.
“Does my size bother you?”
“No,” she said immediately. “I just wish… Never mind.”
“Tell me.”
“It doesn’t matter?—”
“Tell me.”
Her eyes turned away again. “I just wish we didn’t have to wear anything. It’s been a long time since I’ve done the condom thing, and it would be nice to really feel you.”
Heat flushed through my body because just the thought enticed my flesh. I couldn’t remember how good it felt because it’d been so long. Even with escorts who insisted they were clean, I still wore protection because you couldn’t always trust a sex worker.
“To feel you come inside me…”