Page 56 of It Hurts Me

“You aren’t other men. You’re my brother.”

I’d once gone on a date with her, and she could have shown me those bits at the end of the night if I’d let it happen. But I was too loyal to Axel to hurt him like that. He seemed to have forgotten all of that over the years because he didn’t appear to see me as a threat anymore. For at least a year, he’d been visibly uncomfortable whenever we were in the same room together, when I just hugged her.

“You want to hit up a bar?” Axel asked.

“Don’t you have to get home to the kids?”

“Nope. Grandpa’s on the clock until I’m good and ready.”

I never texted Astrid whenever she’d said she wouldn’t be available for a while. It was an open marriage, but a marriage all the same, and I respected the boundaries that she’d never laid out. During those breaks, she belonged to him—and I accepted that.

I dropped my responsibilities when she was free, so when she was unavailable, I threw myself back into work. A lot of shit required my attention that I’d blown off to give my full attention to her. I had two motherfuckers to kill, and it was time to get my hands bloody.

“One of our snitches in the Brotherhood says Bolton usually wines and dines his clients at a few favorite spots across Europe,” Octavio said. “And I guess he’s got a big contract with Claude Vanderbilt. He wants a lot of people dead.”

Claude was in the trafficking game. He had a worldwide organization that operated in several countries. He was always changing his tactics and channels because the authorities were always hot on his tail. He’d managed to shake them for decades, always one step ahead. “You really have to be a scumbag to take a contract from that asshole.” I smoked my cigar as I sat across from him at the table. “Who does he want dead?”

“I’m not sure, but he’s got a list,” Octavio said. “Our informant says they’re supposed to meet for dinner next week to finalize the details.”

“Out in the open?”

“I guess Bolton considers public dining a flex.”

“What did Fender say?”

Octavio sat on the couch with a cigar between his fingertips. “He would ask some old contacts what they know—but only as a favor to you. He said he’s made it very clear he’s walked away.”

“That’s bullshit,” I said. “He knows you’re never really out once you’re in.”

“He said he’ll call you when he knows something.”

“Good.” I took another puff of the cigar and let the smoke rise to the ceiling. It’d been almost a week since I’d spoken to Astrid, and the withdrawals had started to kick in. I didn’t have a replacement in my bed, so when she was gone, I was alone. She probably fucked her husband when we were apart, so she didn’t feel the same drought.

Octavio left, and I remained in the armchair, looking at the painting across from me, the painting of the changeling. I’d stared at it so many times but continued to see new details. It was a creature clearly out of place, so distinct it couldn’t blend into the world it was supposed to invade, and that was exactly how I felt every day of my fucking life.

I used to be someone else, but I’d changed.

I’d changed a long time ago, ten years, a fucking decade…but I still remembered.

I also saw her when I looked at the painting, someone who was forced to change against her will. But then she embraced that change—and made it her own.

At that moment, my phone lit up with a message. It wasn’t from one of my guys or Axel.

It was her.

What are you doing?

I hated open-ended questions like that, but it didn’t feel like a nuisance coming from her. Staring at your paintings.

Would you like to stare at something else?

My cock instantly came alive in my sweatpants, picturing her bent over the couch with her beautiful ass on display, looking back at me with a sexy taunt. Get over here. It’d been the longest stretch of silence we’d had. So long, I’d started to wonder if she and her husband had decided to be monogamous again. Would she let me know? Or was I unworthy of a notice of eviction?

Should I pack a bag?

You don’t need clothes in my house—if that answers your question.

Her messages went silent, and her dots disappeared.