Page 31 of It Hurts Me

“There’s no rush.”

She released a breath like she’d been holding it. “I’m sorry. I just?—”

“Don’t apologize to me.” My words came out harsher than I meant.

Her eyes darted away.

“You owe me nothing. Not an explanation. Not a debt.”

She stared at the black TV on the wall, the fireplace underneath it. She sat that way for seconds before she finally turned to look at me once more, more confident than she’d been a minute ago. “I don’t want to talk about him when we’re together.”

“I don’t want to talk about him ever.”

“I want to do this. It’s just… It’s hard.” She looked away again. “I feel like I’m doing something wrong, even though I’m not… Even though he’s already done it.”

Her words shouldn’t make me angry, but they did. They made me really angry.

“But I’ll get there.”

I wanted to ask why she stayed in the marriage at all, why she didn’t just pack her shit and leave. But since she’d just said she didn’t want to talk about it, I let it go. Maybe it was because she loved him. Maybe it was because she thought he would get it out of his system and they’d be what they used to be. I didn’t know.

But I would enjoy her until that time came. “And I’ll be here whenever you’re ready, sweetheart.”

7

ASTRID

Bolton was home for a couple of days, and like the last time he’d come back, his mood had lifted considerably. Instead of expecting me to cook, he took me out to dinner. He was engaged and thoughtful. We slept together, but I wasn’t totally there. I thought about the others.

I thought about Theo.

I didn’t usually think about Theo when I was with Bolton, but I thought about him more and more. I wondered what he was doing, if he was sleeping with other people since I was sleeping with Bolton. He hadn’t texted me, and I wondered if he was waiting for me to text him first, like he didn’t want his message to be seen by the wrong person.

I was on the couch in the living room when my phone lit up with his name.

My eyes immediately shifted to Bolton.

He was on his computer, working in front of the TV like he usually did in the evenings. He used to go into his study, but now he spent that time with me.

I felt a jolt of guilt, but then it quickly faded away, because I was innocent of any wrongdoing.

I grabbed my phone and read his message.

Let’s have dinner tomorrow.

He didn’t ask women to dinner, but now he’d asked me three times. All he’d done was touch my thigh, but our relationship felt far more intimate. His dark eyes and hard appearance flicked across my mind. Then there was the desire, the image of his naked chest that burned behind my eyes, the excitement that made my hands tremble.

I glanced at Bolton.

He was too absorbed in his computer to notice.

Can I take you out this time?

I heard his deep voice in my head when I read his response. No.

Come on…

But I’ll let you pick the place, sweetheart.