Page 245 of This Woman Forever
Ava?
I search for her, finding her on her knees. I have to get to her. I have to get her out of here. Struggling to my feet, I wobble, trying so hard to shake the dizziness away. And isn’t it incredible that now, when I can’t see a fucking thing, I still see Ava. So clearly. But I don’t like it. The mess of her face, the tragic despair in her eyes. “I’m so, so sorry.” I barely get the words past the lump in my throat, my steps heavy and clumsy. I feel so weak, my heart racing.
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.”
I put one foot in front of the other, but I don’t seem to be going anywhere. She stabbed me. I swallow, trying to wet my mouth, suddenly unable to talk. Ava, call an ambulance. My legs start to give, my body becoming too heavy to hold me up, and I drop to a knee, gasping. There’s no air to be found. Ava’s bewildered. My breathing becomes short and sharp, anything deeper causing slicing pain in my stomach.
Help me.
I sway on my knee, my uncoordinated hand reaching for my jacket and shoving it back, showing Ava the knife wedged in my side.
“No!”
I lose my balance and strength, collapsing to my back, my head hitting the kitchen floor with a smack. My eyelids feel so heavy, my body so fucking cold.
“Oh God, Jesse!”
Don’t panic, baby.
“Oh God, no no no no no. Please no!”
Come on, Ava. I need you to pull it together.
“Don’t close your eyes, Jesse.”
I’m trying, baby, but I’m tired. So fucking tired.
“Baby, keep your eyes open,” she snaps. “Look at me.”
Breathing is getting harder with each painful breath, even the lightest of inhales causing untold pain. “Ava...” Call an ambulance. “Ava...”
She hushes me, her tears falling and sinking into my shirt as she starts feeling around in my pocket. She pulls out my mobile, juggling it in her hands.
Calm down, Ava. Just calm down.
Fuck, I can’t keep my eyes open. But I can’t close them.
Because I’m terrified I’ll never see her again.
“I need an ambulance,” she yells, her panic making her words almost indecipherable. “Please, my husband’s been stabbed.” Her hand meets my chest, her eyes now just dark blurry dots. I’m losing her. “The penthouse. The code for the elevator is 3210. It’s the Lusso building on St. Katherine Docks. Please, he’s losing consciousness. He can’t talk. The blood, there’s so much.” Her voice cracks, and my heavy lids win, my eyes closing. “Please. Jesse, open your eyes,” Ava snaps, but for all the will in world, I don’t have the strength. “Don’t you dare leave me,” she yells, sobbing. “I’ll be crazy mad if you leave me.”
I can’t breathe. “I can’t b—” A wave of pain radiates through me, and I try to harden my body to stem it. Focus on breathing. I must keep breathing.
“Jesse!”
I fight with everything I have, use energy I can’t afford to lose, to open my eyes. She’s blurry but clear. And isn’t that the poignancy of our story? Would it be too much to ask my body to grace me with one more touch too?
Yes.
Is this it? Have I had my time? My happiness? My moment?
My love?
It would seem unfair if it wasn’t so symbolic.
It was me or Ava. And it was always meant to be me.
I stare at her, hearing her talking but not understanding what she’s saying, hearing music but not really knowing what it is. Something I recognize. “Unbreakable,” I wheeze, getting heavier and heavier.