Page 50 of Midlife Woes (Ex)
“I know, I plan to hire a lot of help, but nothing is going to beat having you here. She trusts you, I trust you, so no worries.”
I told her about my worries about the nursery, and she gave me a wonderful idea. It meant digging up an old movie and paying very close attention before I was able to go ahead with it, but I felt more relaxed and at ease once I had a plan in place.
* * *
JOLENE
* * *
I thinkpoor Damon has lost his mind. Two days after the doctor’s visit, I woke up to hammering and strange noises coming from upstairs. Since I wasn’t allowed to leave the bed, I used the walkie talkie he gave me because I couldn’t use the room’s intercom, and I wasn’t about to use Alexa because then everyone would hear me.
Do you know why everyone shouldn’t hear our conversations? Because my husband likes to call me and say naughty things in my ear all day. Now I called him to ask what that noise was and he came into the bedroom two minutes later.
“It’s a surprise for you and our sons.” I rolled my eyes at him and went back to reading my magazine. “I told you already, I feel the same way I did when I was carrying Savanna; these are all girls.” I love watching him go green. Bastard, that’s what you get for making me stay in bed.
What’s worse, he took a leave of absence and has been home since then with no plans to go back anytime soon or at all. “What kind of surprise? It sounds like you’re tearing holes in the walls.”
“It’s nothing for you to worry about. Are you hungry?”
“You asked me that half an hour ago.”
“Yeah, and?”
“Fine, I want sushi.”
“From that same place?”
“Yeah, I like their California rolls.”
“Okay, I’ll get right on it. Anything else?”
“No, that’s it.”
“Wait, isn’t sushi that diet thing? Nice try. You can have cheesecake or gelato to go with that sushi or no sushi and a full meal.”
“Why are you trying to make me fat?”
“I’m trying to make you happy. Sheila said those are the things you liked when you were pregnant before.”
“Okay-okay, don’t sulk. I’ll have both the cheesecake and the gelato.” He smiled like he won a prize. I think he has pregnancy brain because he hasn’t been acting right since we found out I was pregnant, and he’s only gotten worse once we found out about the sextuplets.
I was only allowed to walk around downstairs for a few minutes at a time with him holding me around the waist while holding my hand, so I didn’t get to see what all the noise was up there, but by the middle of the following week, I got to see the new elevator in use.
“You have totally lost your mind.”
DAMON
The work is finally done. I waited until she woke up in the morning and carried her to the elevator she’d been bitching about for weeks. I should get her a chair or one of those things that glide up and down the banister, but she’d only give me shit if I mentioned it.
I led her down the hallway once we got off the elevator and grew nervous as hell as soon as we stopped in front of the door. I opened the door with a flourish all the same and hoped for the best.
“Oh wow, oh dear, oh my.”
“Is that good?”
“Oh, that is more than good. Why does this look so familiar?”
“It’s the nursery from Father of the Bride part two, just a little bigger.”