Page 32 of Queen of Misfortune (Shadows of Redemption)
My heart swells with joy for her, but there's a tightness that coils around my chest. It’s envy. She seems to have everything a person could ever want. Love and happiness. With Giuseppe, I had comfort and contentment, and I felt lucky to have it considering the very real alternatives. But I can see that Elena has more than that, and I envy her that.
“The time will go by fast, I imagine. Are you and Niko ready?”
She laughs. “Probably not.”
“Before, you said he didn’t want?—”
“That was when he thought I wanted to leave.” She sighs as she looks at me, knowing my not-so-subtle questions are due to wanting to be sure she’ll be okay. “Every night, he talks to them and tells them about all he’s going to give them. He’s going to spoil them.”
“They’re going to grow up like we did,” I say carefully.
Her eyes narrow, and I see the woman who took charge the other day when Niko and Donovan had been ambushed. “No. They won’t. I’m not Mom, and Niko isn’t Dad.”
I’ve offended her. “No, of course not. But you’re in that world.”
“They’ll be loved and protected.” She pushes her plate away, and guilt clutches my gut that I’m ruining the morning.
“I’m sorry, Elena. I just… I want you to be happy and safe. At one point, you had a plan to leave and?—”
“And now I want to stay. You don’t have to if you find my life so repulsive.”
I sigh and sit back. “Do you want me to leave?” Where would I go? I liked it in Italy all right, but I don’t just want to be comfortable and safe.
She stands and goes to the window. “I want you to accept my choice.” She turns to me. “My choice, Luce. Niko and the babies are what I want.”
I rise from my chair and join her. “Okay. That’s all I need to know.” I want to hug her, but she seems mad. I look down. “I left a message for Luca last night.”
Her eyes widen. “You’re leaving?”
I shrug. “I’m in the way. I take up resources that Niko can use to better protect you and hunt down Dad.” I pause. “You don’t need me.”
“But I want you here.”
The little crack in my heart starts to mend. “Really?”
“Yes. You’re my big sister. I need your help and advice about… well… everything.”
“I don’t know how well I can advise. My life isn’t like yours. I’ve never had a baby.”
“Will you stay? If Luca lets you?”
I look down, hating the reminder that my life isn’t my own. Hating that Elena had a choice to take control of her life, but I didn’t.
I nod. “Of course. I don’t want to miss these two little beings.” I press a gentle hand to her belly.
Niko strides in, going straight to Elena for a kiss, and he rubs her belly. “How are you all this morning?”
“Good. Better now that Luce says she’ll stay if Luca allows it.”
Niko turns his attention to me. “Did you reach him last night?”
“I had to leave a message.” I can’t read his mind, but I wonder if he’s peeved that he wasn’t involved in the decision about my staying. After all, it’s Niko’s home, Niko’s Family.
“As long as Elena’s happy, you can stay with us as long as you like.”
Elena gives him a kiss. “Then it’s settled.”
“Not quite,” he says.