Page 16 of Queen of Misfortune (Shadows of Redemption)
I force a smile in return. I can see she’s happier than she’s ever been.
"Are you okay, Lucy? You seem… distant." Concern laces her words. Even with time apart, she can still see the cracks in my strength.
"Fine. Just thinking about everything. The city isn't exactly the safest place right now, but Niko insists?—”
"We have the best protection" Her optimism feels naïve.
"Sure. Of course."
She looks down, and I hate that her smile has faltered. “I want to keep you here with me. I don’t know how I can do this… pregnancy and motherhood without you. But I know you have a life in Italy. I can see that you and Niko… and Donovan…” She looks up again. “If you want to go?—”
I take both her hands. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re my family, and where you are is where I want to be.” I take a breath, hoping she doesn’t get upset at the reminder I’m about to deliver. “But I’m only here because Niko is allowing it. Your choosing to stay means you choose to live by his rules.”
Her eyes narrow. “You don’t think Niko cares about my happiness? The only reason he brought you to me was for my happiness.”
“That’s not completely true.” I remember the brutal interrogation Niko gave me when Donovan kidnapped me from the airport.
Elena tugs her hands back, and I hate her reaction. For a moment, I wonder if there were a choice between me or Niko, who would she choose? I don’t want to test it.
“Look, I know I’m here now because he wants you to be happy. I’m just saying that if he decides it’s time for me to go, I’ll have to go.”
She shakes her head. “He won’t decide that. I understand the choice I’ve made and the sacrifices that come with it, but you’re not one of them and he knows it.”
Again, I see the strong woman I’d seen the other night. I hope she’s right.
“Okay,” I say.
"Good." Elena's smile returns, full and unguarded, and I envy her ability to find joy despite the shit show that our lives are swirling in. "I'm just so happy you're here with me."
"Me too.” And I mean it. For her, for those unborn babies, I'll stand up against anyone, including Niko and Donovan, and especially my father.
Maria sets two plates on the table.
“Mmm, I’m hungry,” Elena says. “I hope I can keep it down.”
“I hope so too.”
She tentatively takes a bite of fruit. I join her, enjoying the food but missing my cook in Italy.
She’s quiet for a moment, and I get the feeling she wants to say or ask something. Finally, she says, "You haven’t really talked about Giuseppe or…"
“Mourned? Cried?”
“I don’t know. Everything is so focused on me or Niko’s revenge that you haven’t had time…”
“Honey, my feelings aren’t important here. In Niko’s house, you and revenge are all that are important.”
She frowns. “Not to me. You’re important. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Not that I’m not sad. Giuseppe was good to me when he could have been a beast. I’ll miss our chats and his insights into running a Mafia organization. But he’s gone now. The one salvation is that he died of a sickness, not by an enemy’s bullet. Not many Dons die of old age.
"Luce…" She sighs heavily.
I force a smile. “I’m okay. Really.”
She isn’t convinced, but she says, "Okay, just remember I'm here if you need to talk."
After lunch, I leave the kitchen, escaping to my room for true solitude. The hallway is quiet, in contrast to the noise in my head. I’m almost to my room when Donovan steps into my path.