Page 12 of Queen of Misfortune (Shadows of Redemption)
And with those words, I’m again struck by the way he seems to be able to see me… see into me. It’s the first time I’ve felt that from anyone. Even Dylan, who I knew loved me, who promised me a new and better life, didn’t see into my soul as Donovan does. Damn him. Donovan is a magnet, drawing me in with his strength and that infuriating charm. Yet, he's also the embodiment of everything I loathe. How can I be drawn to him when he represents the shackles that I've spent my life trying to break?
And yet, I would like to kill my father. It’s a deep-seated desire that I rarely give thought to because I’m not like these people. I’m not a murderer. But given the opportunity…
I won’t have the opportunity. First, I don’t know where my father is. I know he’s hiding. It’s one of the many things I learned today as I lurked about the penthouse, eavesdropping. I’velearned that Tiberius Abate is dead, as is his son at Elena’s hand. I’m so proud that she was able to take his life in preservation of her own.
With Tiberius and Romeo dead, the Abate business is up for grabs, and Niko plans to take it. Although I hate this world, in some ways, I’m glad to hear of Niko’s plans. It will keep him busy, giving me an excuse to stay with Elena to help her during her pregnancy.
“You like that idea.” Donovan’s voice interrupts my thoughts.
“I just want him dead.”
I need to check Donovan’s bandages as the doctor instructed us to do, but I hate getting so close to him. I hate the dark eyes that hint of mischievousness. I hate the warmth of his skin. I hate the scent of him. Mostly, I hate how much every part of me responds when I’m close to him.
But checking his bandages means I don’t have to talk about my innermost thoughts, so I sit on the edge of the bed, carefully lifting the taped gauze, fighting the urge to kiss his chest.Seriously, Lucia?
His hand covers mine, and I have to close my eyes in an attempt to ward off the warm flow of something I can’t name.
“I wish I could kill him for you, but Niko has a special bullet for him.”
I shrug and pull my hand away. “As long as he’s gone and can’t hurt Elena or her babies.”
“God… babies. How long was I out of it?”
It’s not my place to tell Elena and Niko’s personal business. “You haven’t missed much. Niko isn't going after Giovanni yet."
“Wants to regroup and catch him off guard.”
So Niko told him. “Plus, he’s got new priorities. Elena. The twins.”
"Elena's doing okay?"
"Better than you," I say. "She's strong."
"Like her sister."
God, how does he do that? How does he say things that make my heart do cartwheels?
I fold my arms across my chest, a shield against his irritating charm.
"Even so, you don’t have to carry it all alone."
"What? You’re going to protect me? You can’t even get out of bed. Seems to me you could use a lesson in self-preservation yourself." The words tumble out, tinged with anger I don't fully understand. I tell myself it’s for this idiotic world we live in, but deep down, I think it’s at him for nearly getting himself killed.
"Maybe." The corner of his mouth quirks up. "But who'd save reckless bastards like me if not for guardian angels masquerading as ice queens?"
The metaphor strikes a chord deep in my chest, and I push off from the bed to gain distance from the growing urge to move closer to him.
He chuckles like he knows what he’s doing to me. I want to slap his amusement off his face. Or maybe kiss it off.
“Say, how come you don’t have babies?” he asks.
I whirl on him, gaping. “None of your business.”
“Surely, even an old man like Giuseppe could get it up.”
I shake my head at his vulgarity, and at the same time, I’m glad for it. It helps push away the warm feelings. “As I said, it’s none of your business.” I grab the clean gauze to replace his bandage, pressing extra-hard and enjoying the wince of pain on Donovan’s face.
“You don’t like me.”