Page 91 of Blossom

“You didn’t…”

“I did, Brenda. I don’t know what I was thinking. Well, I know what I was thinking the first night. I was afraid my room was haunted.”

Brenda lets out a laugh. “Come on, Mare. Seriously?”

“Well, yeah. We were staying at this hotel that’s supposedly haunted. The chandelier above my bed flickered on and off during the night after I’d already turned the light switch off.”

“And you didn’t think—”

I interrupt her. “Yes, I know. Old building. Old wiring. Yada, yada, yada.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just want to join him in his room?”

I have no answer because part of what she says is the truth. Had I not had Ronan to run to, I would’ve dealt with the faulty wiring or the poltergeist or whatever the hell it was myself.

“I’m not going to sit here and psychoanalyze myself on the phone with you.”

Brenda laughs. “You don’t have to. I’m happy to do it for you. I think you like this guy, Mary. I think you like him, and I think it’s scaring the hell out of you.”

“Why would that scare me? I’ve always liked my Dominants.”

“Yes, you have, but at the risk of sounding like a middle schooler, I think you like him like him.”

She’s not wrong, and it does scare the hell out of me. I haven’t let myself have feelings like this in a long time. Not since Lucas.

So why not change the subject?

“I’m thinking about going back to school. Finishing my degree.”

“That’s great,” she says. “I always felt bad that you didn’t finish with me and graduate.”

“I hated leaving school,” I admit, “but it turned out to be the best thing for me at the time. It got me away from Lucas. That was such a toxic relationship.”

“Yeah, it was. I’m not one to say I told you so…”

“No, you never did, and I appreciate that.”

“I am going to say something now, though.”

I roll my eyes, knowing well she can’t see me.

“I saw that,” she says.

“What are you talking about?”

“You rolled your eyes.”

“I did not.”

“Oh, spare me, Mary. I know you better than you know yourself. And that’s why I need to say the following. Don’t screw this up with Ronan.”

“What is there to screw up? I don’t date.”

“No. And it’s served you well for the last five years. But you’ve had scenes go bad before, and they never affected you like the one with Jack did.”

“So?”

“So…I think maybe your subconscious is telling you that you want something more now.”