Page 17 of Untouchable
I feel the softness of a cool cloth laying across my eyes and the warmth of a body at my back as I slowly begin to wake up after passing out. “Easy, pup.” Braxton’s breath feathers across my neck as he kisses the tender skin repeatedly. “I’ve got dinner simmering on the stove, and I’d like you to try and eat something.” My stomach lets out a loud grumble when the savory scents hit my nostrils. “I’ll take that as a yes, please,” he chuckles, slowly lifting the cloth off my eyes. “Hi, gorgeous.”
He’s trying to be playful, but I don’t know that I have anything to say right now. I still feel as wretched as I did before, only more alert now, thanks to sleeping all day.
Rolling away, Braxton gets up and offers me a hand. I miss his body heat but accept his hand. He leads me to the table, where there’s a bottle of water and a container of Tylenol. I’m feeling resentful at his ability to anticipate my needs. Shaking out a couple of pills, I swallow them with water just as he places a bowl of stew in front of me.
“Thanks,” I mutter. Dipping the spoon into the bowl, I lift a small mouthful and blow on it before sliding the utensil between my lips. Flavors explode on my tongue, and I’m pleasantly surprised by his cooking ability.
We eat in silence, and before I know it, he offers me a second bowl, which I finish with a little more gusto than the first. I begin doing the dishes before he can tell me not to because I’d like to avoid the conversation he’ll want to have about everything that’s happened over the last day and a half. I’m not ready to face my feelings, let alone share them with him.
“Trusen is doing well. I spoke to Porter this afternoon. He’s already up and walking around. Doctors are talking about releasing him in a couple of days.” Relief swarms my belly, and I can hardly hold myself together.
I don’t know how I keep moving, keep washing, but I do. It’s like writing; I instinctively know what I’m doing, and my body just follows what it’s told. I move without thought as I wash and dry dishes, leaving everything on the counter because I don’t know where it goes afterwards.
“Talk to me, Jossilyn.” That’s the first time he’s used my full name in I don’t know how long. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” The demand is filled with frustration. I shake my head, back still turned to him, as I lean over the sink. Tears bubble to the surface again.
“Porter confronted the Senator and his son today.” I spin at the news, shock slacking my jaw. “Clancy, Jr. is going to prison for some other crimes, but he’s not responsible for the shooting.” Relief weakens my knees, and Braxton catches me before I fall.
“Does that mean it’s over?” His eyes soften, and I see his answer before he says it.
“No, the person who shot Trusen had nothing to do with the Senator or his son.”
It doesn’t take much to figure out who it could be. “My mother or sisters.” He gives a clipped nod. “Couldn’t we just confront them?”
Appearing to think about it before he answers me, Braxton’s tone becomes soft, soothing. “I don’t think they’d admit to anything. Not after how they were with your father and Sage.” I was afraid that would be his answer. “Care to tell me what’s been going through your head since the shooting, now?” I want to say no. I don’t want Braxton seeing me as weak and breakable, but I don’t think that will appease him.
“I wondered if this would all end if I just…wasn’t here anymore.” I force the words out in a rush, and his shocked response, followed quickly by betrayal, hurts me deeply. I hate causing him pain.
“That wouldn’t be good for anyone, pup, least of all you and me. Nobody thinks that; why the hell would you?” His anger rises.
Untangling myself from his hold, I walk over to the door. The window overlooks the woods, leading into the rough terrain of the mountain. Snow covers most of the branches, but I can still see birds flying from tree to tree. Squirrels chase each other up the trunks and into holes before reappearing on the branches.
“After my father was sentenced, I was alone. Sage had her life in Loveland. Porter and Trusen had each other, found their way to Texas, and built a home there. Momma and my sisters went to Arkansas, and I was just left by myself. I didn’t have anything or anyone.” I don’t speak the words, but he knows…Braxton had left me, too.
“I know.” His hands brush along my hips as he pulls me back into his body.
“I sort of disappeared for a while. I was angry, hurt, and sad. Depression consumed me, and for a time, I thought about suicide because I couldn’t imagine finding any kind of peace.” I pause to catch my breath and figure out how to say what I need. “I lost my faith, Braxton, and I think that was scarier than losing my family.” I turn in his arms, and he holds me closer.
“I can’t imagine.” A sob creeps up my body.
Fisting my hands on his chest, I continue, “I don’t believe in a higher power anymore because there was so much betrayal. I was so lost, and I couldn’t find my way back to believing that everything I…we…suffered through was for the greater good. The world taught me that what my faith was forcing on us was wrong, and I can’t find it in myself to offer any kind of forgiveness.”
Crying into his chest, it’s the first time I’ve said the words out loud to anyone. A weight lifts, and I don’t feel like I’m about to break anymore.
“You know it’s okay to be angry, right, pup? You can hold that hatred inside of you for as long as you want until whenever you’re ready to think about forgiveness?” I nod. “But you also have to remember to let yourself love; otherwise, that hate is going to drag you down.” Pulling back, I stare up at him, teary-eyed and amazed at his perception. “I know a thing or two.” He gives a playful wink as a cocky smirk tilts the corner of his mouth.
“I do love,” I say quietly. Blinking away my tears, I stare into his welcoming eyes and say, “I love you, Braxton. I have for so long I didn’t think I’d ever get to say the words out loud.”
He doesn’t respond, just picks me up and carries me over to the bed, following me down as his lips crash over mine.
CHAPTER12
Braxton
Devouring her mouth, I don’t give her a second to breathe as I tear the shirt she’s wearing down the middle and remove my own clothes before settling between her legs. She’s hot and ready for me, so when I nudge her opening with the head of my cock, I slide right in to the hilt.
We groan together at the tight fit. This girl is so damn tiny that it’s like fucking into her the first time. “I love you, too, pup,” I confess between kisses. Realizing how close she was to death by her own hand all those years ago has my heart pounding furiously, and all I can think about is laying claim to her body. Ensuring she knows just how much she means to me and that I couldn’t live without her. Not for anything.
Sliding in and out of her body, I sense her orgasm building gradually through her shivering frame by the way her walls ripple around me. I fuck her through it, her nails clawing at my back, eyes closed, and neck arching while I pin her down. I don’t pump my hips, I remain still so she can milk all the pleasure she wants off my dick.